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“I didn’t know what to say.”
Her mother frowned. “You thought the truth would upset us?”
She should have realized Mama would see right through her. “I know he’s not Enzo.”
“Honey…” Her mother’s face softened with understanding. “You don’t love Enzo the way you love Jason.”
“Yeah. I wanted to for your sake, but…”
“Don’t. I know your dad and I put a lot of pressure on you in the past, but Tony’s death made us realize that no one is assured a tomorrow. We want every day you spend in this life to be a happy one. Enzo doesn’t love you. Jason does.”
Well, since her husband didn’t love her, according to him, she wasn’t exactly sure how to reply. “It’s been a really tough year, Mama. I cut Jason out of my life and it hurt so much. I don’t know why he’s forgiven me, why he wants me back, or even why he chose me in the first place. I’m scared.”
“If loving someone doesn’t scare you at least a little, then they don’t really mean much to you.” Her mother pulled her into a hug. “He chose you because you’re beautiful and giving, because you’re selfless and smart. What more could he want?”
“Someone like him, raised in his circles with all the money and the advantages it buys. Hell, sometimes when he takes me out, I’m embarrassed that I don’t know which fork to use.”
“You didn’t fall for someone raised in your circles. Do you love him less because he’s not Italian or a cop or Catholic? Because he knows which utensil to use when?”
“No.” When her mother said it, the whole idea sounded silly. “But I thought you might.”
“Would you really have left him for good if your father and I didn’t approve?” Mama cocked her head in a silent scold. “You’re a grown woman, Gianna.”
“I know. You’re right.” She loved Jason too much to leave him again. “It’s what’s in my heart that matters.”
“Exactly. Does he make you happy?”
“Yes, but we have some unresolved issues.”
“Then work them out. That’s what people who stay married do. Talk. Be as honest as you can. Share your fears. Give him your worries.”
Gia grimaced. “I haven’t been really good at that. When I got the phone call about Tony, I just…broke away. I knew the family would need me.”
“You gave up your happiness for Mila and the kids. Did you ever think that adding another member to the clan would make it stronger? That maybe he could help you and lessen the burden for everyone?”
“No.” And she saw it so clearly now that sorrow and guilt weren’t clouding her. “I didn’t really give him a chance. I just assumed he wouldn’t want to be knee-deep in diapers and baby vomit and all the depressing reality of Tony’s death and Mila’s problems.”
Her mother shot her a skeptical stare. “He hardly looks like the type who would crumble in the face of adversity.”
“You’re right. I feel like an idiot.”
“You may have left originally because of our tragedy, but you didn’t return to Jason for some reason I suspect is bigger than your obligation to Mila and the kids.”
She hadn’t trusted in what they had, in her appeal and ability to hold him. She had been sure that if she presented him with all her problems instead of her ass for a good spanking, that he’d get annoyed and leave. She’d lacked faith in herself, in him… “I have to fix it.”
“There’s my girl.” Her mother smiled. “Show me your ring. It blinded me across the table so I didn’t get a good look at it.”
Gia laughed and held out her hand. Mama took it and peered down at the jewels.
“It’s incredible.” Her mother squeezed her hand.
“So is he.”
“Then just be you and open up. Everything will work out.”
They shared another hug before Mama disappeared into a stall. Gia did the same, then they washed their hands in silence before returning to the table. Jason was playing peekaboo with Bella and answering her father’s questions about savvy investing while Mila watched with an indulgent smile.
“Are we ready to go?” Mama asked as she approached the table.
