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Coldness creeps into my awareness as I begin to wake up. The warmth I was cuddling with is now gone.
“Shh, shh. Go back to sleep. I’m just going to go to the bathroom. Everything’s okay,” Cam whispers to me as I begin to sit up.
“O-okay,” I say, my voice choppy from the dryness in my mouth.
I need water.
Cam walks down the hallway toward the restroom, and I reach over and grab my water, taking desperate sips.
“Ahh,” I say, setting the bottle back down and grabbing my phone to check the time—11:33 a.m.
Cam is a bad influence on my sleep schedule.
Getting up, I fold our blankets, slip my shoes on, and grab two granola bars from my bag. I walk over to the table and take a seat to wait for Cam to get back.
But by the time I finish my granola bar, he’s still not back.
I shoot him a quick text.
Me: Did you get lost?
My heart starts to race as panic settles in. But then I hear his footsteps down the hallway and take a deep breath.
I text Chloe to give her an update.
Me: Good morning. I just woke up. How’d you sleep?
When I set my phone down, my ears prick up at something familiar. But I can’t quite place it. I freeze and listen.
All I hear is Cam walking down the hallway. Cool chills brush up my back. I don’t know why I would have this reaction.
Taking a deep breath, I realize the reason why my body is responding this way to Cam’s footsteps. Because they aren’t Cam’s at all.
“Hello, Honeybee,” Trey hums, turning the corner with a pistol in his hand.
If I wasn’t sitting at a table, I would have dropped to the ground at the sight of him after all this time.
My entire body quivers at the sound of his voice. I’ve practiced this a thousand times in my head. React. Don’t hesitate. Yet, as his beady eyes stare at me, I can’t move, and I can’t breathe. It’s like his hands are still wrapped around my throat.
As hard as I tried to prepare myself for a moment like this, I have failed. I didn’t hop into action and make the first strike. I didn’t protect anyone. I’m a coward.
“Did you miss me?” Trey asks as he takes another step toward me.
He looks different, thinner but more muscular. Stronger. His face has aged, lines streaking his forehead and the corners of his eyes.
But he’s still exactly who I remember him being. The way he carries himself and speaks, like his words are the most important ones ever to be heard.
I’ve let him belittle me too many times in my life, convince me that I am less than. But I am not the same woman he hit and abused. I am confident in who I am and in who I love.
I love Chloe for everything she has given me when I have never asked. She has cared for me in ways I can never repay. She is my best friend in the whole world. For her, I won’t cower.
I love Cam for showing me how I’m supposed to be loved. We have shown each other the darkest parts of ourselves, the pieces no one else gets to see. But instead of running from me, he embraced me and chose to love me. For Cam, I won’t cower.
I love my parents, who don’t even know the sacrifice they had to make for my safety and for their own. I love the childhood and life they gave me. They love me how every parent should love a child. For them, I won’t cower.
For myself, I won’t cower.
Despite the pain and wounds Trey had caused me, I started anew and healed myself. I found love in baking. I made friends with regular customers, proud of my work. I know that what Trey did to me was never okay, no matter how much I let him convince me of it back then.
