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“I am really not hungry right now, Chlo.” I can’t help but chuckle at the ridiculous offer.
She scoffs, “Stand up and take the damn plate, Nikki.”
Closing my eyes, I sigh and stand up next to her and take the plate from her hand. “Okay, now what?”
She turns and grabs another plate from the cabinet. Turning back to me, she has a devious grin on her face, and I can’t figure out what she is up to.
She lifts the plate above her head with both hands, screams, and throws the plate against the ground a little ways away from us. “Fuck you, Trey!”
The porcelain plate shatters, and the pieces fly everywhere.
“What in the hell are you doing?!” I shout at her.
“I will give my maid, Gwen, an extra thousand dollars on her next check; don’t worry. Now, shut up and throw the damn plate!” she orders.
So, I do.
I lift the white ceramic above my head, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. A deep, guttural roar booms from me as I let the plate fly from my hands. The second it reaches the ground, it explodes.
Chloe places another plate in my hand and nods. “Again.”
I lift it up and start my downswing as I shout, “I hate you!”
Crash! The plate practically disintegrates.
She hands me another.
“You fucking broke me, you piece of shit! You deserve to burn in hell!” I scream and shout as the plate breaks apart and settles into the pile of shards on the floor.
Chloe continues to hand me plates, and every time I destroy a perfectly good piece of china, I shout at the ground and say everything I wish I could tell him. My rage fades by the time we get to the last plate, and sadness replaces it immediately.
Sadness, sorrow, unhappiness are emotions I typically fight to feel. Being mad is easier than being sad. Anger is an emotion that you can feel and process without feeling the vulnerability and rawness of despair. It is easy to stay mad at the world and live in rage at the bad parts of your life, but to open yourself up and feel the pain and loss and treachery this world tortures you with takes strength and bravery.
Chloe pulls me into a hug, and I sink into it, tired from the constant battle no one knows I fight.
“I can’t make him go away. I wish I could, Nikki. I wish I had a hit man on speed dial to take this burden off your shoulders.” She rubs up and down my back, and I burrow deeper into her hug as my tears stain her shirt. “But I can give you whatever you need and want. If you want to live in Hawaii for a year, let’s go. If owning a Lambo and a thousand dogs will make you happy, I’ll make it happen. I can’t give you that life back, but I can make this one everything you dream it to be.”
“Thank you,” I whisper and pull her in tighter. “Thank you.”
I owe her absolutely everything. She is my best friend, my guardian angel, my savior. She is the sole reason I have made it this far, and I can never thank her enough.
“Come on. I’ll make some popcorn. We’ve got a date with Christian Grey.” She pulls back and rubs my shoulders.
“There is no way I can enjoy watching a movie with this mess in here. You make popcorn and get the movie ready, and I’ll clean up.”
“You’re going to take a thousand dollars away from Gwen?” she challenges me.
“No, you are still giving her what you promised.” I laugh. “But I physically cannot sit still with this being here. If it makes you feel better, I can leave one piece.”
“Two,” she bargains for no reason.
Laughing at the stupidity of this, I agree, “Fine, two pieces.”
Walking over to the sink, I grab the broom and dustpan from the storage beneath it.
“I want extra butter and salt!” I demand as I sweep the plate fragments into the dustpan.
Buttery goodness fills my nose, and I work faster, needing to devour that popcorn as soon as I can.
