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She was made for me to love.
I’ve never felt anything like how I feel for her. It consumes me. Every thought and every second of every day, she is there in my mind. When I lie in bed at night, my body aches to feel her next to me. When I wake, I want nothing more than to kiss her and feel her lips on mine.
The thought of loving someone used to scare me, but I think I was just waiting to love her. Because loving her isn’t scary. It’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever done. I’m going to continue to love her every single goddamn day.
I need to tell her how I feel. I need to show her. Words are but a promise to her and me, but actions are their fulfillment. I’m going to kiss every inch of her body, trace every scar with my tongue. I’m going to show her what love feels like.
“That’s all the questions I had. Anything else you would like to add?” Natalie asks.
Shaking my head, I tear the mic off and hand it back to her. “Nope. Thank you so much. This was…enlightening. I need to go. Let Laura know if you need anything else from me, please. Thanks.”
I grab my helmet and take off for the locker room. My flight leaves in two hours, and I need to pick up flowers before I get there.
I love Nikki Satinn, and nothing is ever going to change that. She and I were fucking made for each other.
On my way out of the arena, I try calling her, but she doesn’t answer, so I leave a voice mail.
“Hey, baby. I’m coming to see you. There’s something really important I need to tell you, and I have to do it in person. I miss you. I’ll be there in a few hours.”
I love you, I want to say, but don’t. I want to see her reaction when I tell her for the first time, and then I want to kiss her senseless.
22
Nikki
Fuck.
“Chloe, he’s on his way here right now. What am I going to do?” I beg her to give me the perfect answer.
I left my phone unattended for a few hours to reset myself, and I came back to a nightmare. Cam is on his way here right now and might have already landed. He can’t be here when Trey comes.
“Take a breath. Let’s start with that,” she says calmly as she locks the door to the shop and hangs the sign up, saying we’re closed for the next week.
We weren’t sure how long to close for, but we figured that was a good start. Chloe also let our staff know that we would be closed but that they would be paid for what they were scheduled.
My throat clenches, and my eyes well with tears when I imagine what is to come. “He can’t be here, Chloe.”
She walks over to me and sits on the counter next to me. “Why is he coming here?”
My brows slam together. “What? What do you mean?”
“Why is he coming to visit Duluth, Minnesota, on his few days off when he could be resting and relaxing, like he was planning to?” she asks.
Taking a slow, long breath, I answer her honestly, “Because he wants to see me.”
She clicks her tongue and winks at me. “Exactly right. Because he cares for you and wants to spend whatever free time he has with you. So, you know what you are going to do? Continue to face your fears.”
“I’m scared to lose him,” I whisper.
Horrified. Terrified. Petrified. Whatever you want to call it, I am that.
What if he thinks less of me and leaves? I know Cam isn’t quick to judge, but I can’t help but consider that as a possibility.
But it’s time. He deserves the truth, and I’m going to give him it. I’m going to tell him who I really am, why I’m here, and why I’ve been so scared to tell him how I really, truly feel about him. That I love him.
Nikki Satinn has served her purpose. She kept me and my family safe for as long as she could. But Nikki can’t save me anymore. It’s time I take that mask off once and for all.
When I checked my phone and listened to Cam’s voice mail, my heart dropped. If Trey hurts him, I will never forgive myself. I haven’t texted or called Cam back yet. I don’t know how to tell him not to come without breaking my own heart—or his.
