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Reed

“It’ll go smooth and be over before you know it,” I try to assure Charlotte, although she seems to be far more relaxed than I am as we walk into the hospital.

Charlotte has her surgery today for her double mastectomy, and I am a nervous fucking wreck. I have no idea how she is so calm and collected right now.

I hold her hand in mine as she checks in, and she starts filling out some paperwork.

“That is a ridiculous amount of stuff they expect you to do the morning of your surgery,” I say, staring at the dead tree on the clipboard they gave her.

She side-eyes me playfully. “This is nothing compared to everything else I have done since I started treatment.”

Watching her fill everything out, I feel like my stomach is twisting in knots. I know this is a surgery that is performed regularly. But that doesn’t matter because the only thing that matters is how hers goes. Going under anesthesia will probably be fine, and the surgery will go great, but my brain won’t stop being a dick right now and asking, Yeah, but what if it doesn’t go right? And I want to scream at it.

“Will your mom be able to take me home if you have to leave for the game before I’m ready to go?” she asks.

I laugh at how crazy that question is, like there is any possible alternative to my being here. “I’m not going to my game, Char. There’s no way in hell that I won’t be here when you wake up. There will always be another hockey game, but there’s only one you. And you are the most important part of my life, and I’m staying here every step of the way.”

“I love you.” She leans over and puckers her lips.

Sliding my hand along her jaw, I kiss her and breathe her in.

Everything is going to go great today. The surgery is going to be successful. She is going to be okay.

There is no other outcome that can happen. I just wish I could convince my sweaty hands and racing heart of that too.

As Charlotte finishes up the final page of the mountain of paperwork, a nurse comes out and greets her.

“Charlotte, we are ready to take you back.” She turns to me. “Are you coming back as well?”

Looking at Charlotte, I let her answer because that’s not my place to say.

She grabs my hand and says, “Yes, he’s coming with me.”

We follow the nurse, and she takes us to a private room, shutting the door behind us. She goes over some questions with Charlotte, takes some quick vitals from her, and then leaves us to wait for the doctor who will be coming in to chat before she is taken back.

Charlotte is bouncing her knees incessantly. Standing up, I grab my chair and move it across the room to sit next to her. Reaching out, I gently rest my hand over her thigh, brushing my thumb back and forth.

“Take a breath for me, baby,” I whisper and lean over, kissing her cheek.

She turns to me with teary eyes, and I wish I could punch cancer right in the fucking face. How dare it hurt my girl! How dare it make her feel insecure and scared! I hate it more than anything in the world because I can’t do a damn thing about it.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” I murmur to her.

Her eyes flash to mine. “What?”

Smiling, I tap my fingers on my leg. “After you’re cleared to go home, I was wondering if you wanted to come home with me to our house for good.”

Her head tilts, and her eyes water as she nods. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Lifting my hand, I run my thumb along her bottom lip. “Clearly, if you have to question that, I haven’t been telling you enough exactly what you mean to me. You’re mine; I’m yours. We might as well have rings on our fingers as far as I’m concerned because I’m committed to you in every sense of the word.”

She gasps softly and leans forward, kissing me. “I would love to move in with you and Hatty.” She laughs. “I think Josh was getting tired of having a roommate anyway.”

“Good. I was getting tired of sharing my time with you,” I tease.

“You’re ridiculous.” She giggles and rolls her eyes.

She mouths the words, Thank you, as a knock sounds on the door, and I know she’s thanking me for helping to relax her, but truth be told, I’ve been dying to ask her to officially move in with me.

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