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Charlotte
This morning, I’m meeting up with Harper for coffee at the Little Dove. At Ella’s funeral, we promised each other that we would stay in touch. It’s been over a month or so since we laid her to rest, and we need to catch up.
I got here early so I could get us a good table. The place is usually busy all day with people coming here to work on their laptop or visit with friends, and I wanted to get one of the tables with the swinging chairs that hang from the ceiling. I don’t know whose idea this was, but they are the greatest thing ever.
Harper arrives shortly after I sit down with my iced mocha and croissant. The second I see her, I leave our table and go to her, embracing her in a big hug. Her scent hits me, and my eyes burn. I wasn’t prepared to be reminded of Ella from Harper’s scent.
“Hi,” I say as I pull away. “What do you want to drink?”
She has a gift bag, and guilt strikes me that I didn’t think to get her anything. But I try to cut myself some slack; we didn’t set that expectation with each other, so I doubt she’s anticipating anything in return.
We walk over to the counter, and Morgan takes her order. After she gets her coffee and cinnamon roll, we go back over to our seats.
“I love your necklace,” I tell her as the small diamond teddy bear pendant flashes in the light.
“Thank you.” She caresses the necklace gently, and for a brief second, she seems to disappear to another place in her mind before returning and saying, “This is for you.”
She hands me the princess-themed gift bag. I imagine the theme isn’t a coincidence, and whatever is inside is related to Ella.
As I tear the tissue off of the top, Harper says, “She told me that if anything happened, she wanted you to have her. I agreed that if anyone besides Ella should have her, it should be you.”
My eyes well up with tears as I look down. Cocoa sits inside the bag with a bow on her head.
Giggling, I remember the time I met Ella and what she told me about Cocoa. She was so flabbergasted that I didn’t have a teddy bear. My audacity was so shocking to her.
Of course, even after she’s gone, she finds a way to spoil me with her love.
I pull Cocoa out and press her against my chest, tucking her head in my neck and hugging her deeply. It’s like giving Ella a hug—or at least a piece of her.
I set Cocoa on the table and look up at Harper, who is crying along with me.
“I don’t think I can take Cocoa, Harper. You should have her.”
She smiles sweetly and pats her necklace. “Ella was buried with a matching pendant. I don’t need Cocoa as a reminder of her, and I don’t need Cocoa to feel safe. She was Ella’s reminder that everything will be okay. The memory of Ella’s happy smile and this”—she caresses the necklace again, as if she were stroking Ella’s cheek—“are the only reminders I need.”
“I promise to keep Cocoa safe. And if you ever want, I am happy to share custody.” I smile, the faintest hint of a laugh leaving my lips.
“I appreciate that,” she says and looks at the bear endearingly. “Now, let me see that ring.” She grins and reaches for my hand.
I forgot that I haven’t seen her in person since Reed and I got engaged—or more like when I forced Reed to propose to me.
She examines my ring and admiringly says, “It’s gorgeous. You said he customized it just for you?”
“Yeah, and on the inside of the band are two engraved words. Forever. Always,” I tell her, remembering how I felt, running my finger over the engraving when I first held the ring. He couldn’t have done a better job.
“That’s beautiful,” she says, and then her attention drifts to my arm. “You still wear it?”
The bracelet Ella made me dangles from my wrist. “Of course I do. I wear it every day. Although I’m so afraid of it catching on something and breaking. I’m so conscious of it; I feel like its bodyguard or something.”
She chuckles and gently releases my hand. “I love that.”
“Good,” I tell her genuinely, happy that I could bring her any joy.
“How are you doing? How’s treatment going?”
“It’s going as good as it can. I’m still getting chemo treatments to ensure that any undetected cells are gone. But I should be finished soon as long as everything keeps going well. So fingers crossed.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” She smiles at me and finishes her cup of coffee.
