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“Thank you anyway,” Lili said politely. “Um, I think we’ve taken enough of your time. Thank you so much for a wonderful day.”
She wanted badly to get back to the ship and shower. Also, she was still feeling really weak—almost as though she had lost a pint of blood. Who knew that really good, intense sex could make you feel so lousy afterwards? Probably she’d never known before because sex with her ex had been such a snooze-fest, that it never came up.
“We will send the information we promised you to your intermediary on the Kindred Mother Ship,” f’loon told her. “Will that be acceptable?”
“Yes, that’s my friend, Rachel. Thank you.” Lili nodded. “If you’d like to read it, I can send you the paper I intend to publish about your collection,” she added.
“Yes, we would love to read your work and continue our correspondence.” f’loon nodded their bulbous head graciously. “For now, we will say farewell.”
“Farewell and thank you,” Lili nodded again.
“Go down the stairs and the guards will escort you out,” es’plendio told them in a deep, buzzing voice. Then he and f’loon turned and left.
“Well, I guess we’d better go, boys,” Lili said to both of them. She took a step forward and nearly fell when her legs gave way.
“Careful!” Light exclaimed. Catching her, he swung her up into his arms. “Are you still dizzy?” he asked, looking at her anxiously.
“I guess I am.” Lili put a hand to her head. “It probably has something to do with low blood sugar—I only ate a bite of that sandwich thing we had for lunch.”
“Let’s get you back to the ship so we can feed you something then,” Light said decisively. He looked at Dark. “Brother, are you ready to go?”
Dark, who had been uncharacteristically silent for the past half hour, simply nodded. Lili frowned at his non-response. He was acting so strangely! She was really getting worried about him.
“Dark?” she asked, as Light carried her down the stairs. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” The Dark Twin spoke brusquely and didn’t look at her as he talked.
“No, you’re not!” Lili said, frowning. “Something’s wrong with you—I can tell. Why won’t you tell me what you’re feeling?”
“He may have turned up his emotion-damper,” Light murmured to her. “It’s easier for him to turn off his emotions when they start to feel overwhelming.”
“Oh…all right.” Lili nodded. She wished that the Dark Twin would talk to her instead of just walling himself away from his feelings, but what could she do?
I’ll talk to him later, she told herself. Right now I just need to get cleaned up and get something to eat. Then I’ll feel better…I hope.
23
DARK
Dark had not turned up his emotion damper. He deserved to feel all the negative feelings that were swamping him and he didn’t intend to run from them.
And there were certainly plenty of negative feelings—even though he didn’t have names for all of them. First and foremost, he felt ashamed of what he’d done to Lili—of the way he had treated her.
She was so tiny, so delicate and fragile and he was so much bigger and stronger than her. Yet, he had allowed lust to overcome him and then the Berserker part of him had come out and he had fucked her roughly, using her like a whore instead of being gentle the way Light had been.
Wouldn’t blame her if she hated me now, Dark thought grimly, as he prepped the ship for take-off. He and Light had changed into spare uniforms—ones that weren’t fucking see-through—and Lili was in the shower.
Probably trying to wash my seed out of her, Dark told himself. Not that he fucking blamed her. Why would she want any kind of reminder of their sexual encounter? Instead of being gentle with her, he’d rutted inside her like a beast. And when she’d tried to get away, he’d held her down and fucked her even harder—fucked her so hard he’d made her faint! What in the Seven Hells was wrong with him?
For the first time, he truly hated his Berserker DNA. It had saved his ass in battle more times than he could count, but it made it impossible for him to be gentle with the female he cared for and, for a Kindred, that was unforgivable.
Dark wished he could carve that savage, animalistic part of himself out and throw it away. But it was no good wishing that—the savagery was part of him and he was never getting rid of it, he thought bleakly.
“Hey, Brother, do you feel all right?” Light asked. He was strapped into the passenger side to Dark’s left and he had a concerned look on his face.
“You never used to look at me like that—or ask me questions about how I was feeling,” Dark growled, shooting him a glance.
“Because we didn’t use to have feelings,” Light reminded him. “Are you having some now or is your damper turned up?”
