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“We should go home and eat,” Dark told him.
“Yes, I suppose.” Light nodded. “Dark, what do you think she’s doing?”
Dark didn’t have to ask who “she” was.
“Teaching maybe. Or sleeping. Or eating. Depends on what time it is on Earth right now,” he answered. “Why does it matter? We’ll never see her again.”
Speaking the words caused him no pain. He felt nothing now. The chemical emotion blocker that Yipper had given both of them was extremely effective—much better than the old system which had been controlled with the metal knob at the back of his neck.
Dark sighed and rubbed the place where the knob had been. It still ached sometimes with a phantom pain—the same pain he felt in his chest when he was about to sleep and Lili’s face popped into his mind.
It wasn’t an emotion—not really—but it almost felt like one. Dark both wanted to get rid of it and to savor it at the same time, which made no sense. But here in the light of day he had no such ridiculous ideas. He could remember the female both he and his brother had cared for without even a twinge of feeling.
“Do you ever miss her…miss Lili?” Light asked him.
“Lili,” Dark echoed. Her name tasted sweet on his lips but that was foolishness. Nothing tasted like anything here on Z4. Everything was bland—too many flavors could bring about unwanted emotions.
“Do you miss her?” Light asked again.
“No.” Dark took off his protective gear and hung it by the door. “Why would I? She’s gone—part of the past.”
“I know. I just…” Light sighed and shook his head. “Never mind. Let’s go home.”
“Let’s go home,” Dark agreed.
The two of them left together.
32
LIGHT
Light cast a sidelong glance at his brother as they made their way from their new job to the domicile they shared. Working at the mechanoid plant was a significant step down in status from their previous positions in the Dark Kindred military, but neither he nor Dark had wanted to fight anymore.
Besides, since they had taken the chemical emotion blocker, Dark no longer had access to The Fury which had made him such a fearsome warrior. The Berserker part of him was effectively silenced forever—which meant he wouldn’t be nearly as effective in battle.
Dark didn’t seem to care though—neither of them did. Every day was the same now—get up, eat their morning garn, go to work, eat their midday garn, work some more, go home, eat their nightly serving of garn, then sleep. And then they would wake up and do it all again.
And again and again and again until the day we expire, Light thought.
The thought stirred something in him. The ghost of an emotion that might have been sadness or longing…but it faded too quickly for him to tell. It was just as well—there were more sniffers than ever now on Z4—it wouldn’t do to be caught committing Feel Crime.
He sighed and reached down to rub one of his legs. He and Dark had gotten their enhancements upgraded to a more protective variety made with a stronger alloy when they had gotten their new jobs. Sometimes he missed his old leg sheaths though.
He wondered where they were—probably still lying in a bin at the workshop where they had gotten upgraded. Or possibly they’d been hauled to a junk house and were gathering dust. They had served him well, but they were no good to him now.
Just like the emotions I had—we had, he thought, casting another sidelong glance at Dark. His brother’s face was stoic—emotionless. Light remembered how he had looked back when they were with Lili—the way he had laughed and growled and grinned and glared. And now his bearded face was like stone and his dark eyes were like glass—there was simply nothing to see.
Nothing to see…nothing to feel, Light thought to himself. His own face doubtless looked just as blank because his own life was just as meaningless.
He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind as the two of them trudged homeward. There was no point in longing for something that was gone and would never come back…or wishing for someone who had left their lives and could never return.
33
LILI
Lili was nearly running, though at the same time she was trying not to draw attention to herself. She kept glancing at the tracking screen—luckily the two red dots were still together in the same exact location.
She frowned—wherever Dark and Light were, they certainly weren’t moving much. Her own blue dot was moving slowly—too slowly—down the green dotted line which was leading her back to them. Taking a gasping breath, she tried to pick up the pace.
