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Hand on her shoulder, I say the only thing I can think of. “This isn’t your fault Sophie, you couldn’t know something was going to happen.”
“It doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be with you.”
I don’t know what cuts deeper, her words or the way she shrugs my hand off.
“You and I…it doesn’t make sense.”
The elevator stops, the doors slide open and the noise of the helicopter waiting for us blows my words away. “What do you mean?” I pull her back before she can step out of the elevator and conversation becomes impossible. “Sophie, what do you mean?”
My Sunshine turns to look at me with glassy eyes. “It means men like you and women like me don’t belong together. We can’t even be seen together in public, not without me fearing the judgment of every asshole who walks by. And you’ll never understand what my life is like.” She closes her eyes and a tear runs down her cheek. “This has been the most amazing fantasy, but that’s all it can ever be.”
She’s gone, hurrying toward the helicopter before I can gather my thoughts to respond. Jogging after her, I wait to the side while the pilot helps her get in, then climb in after her.
We fly back to Portland without a word, the only things breaking the silence Sophie’s muffled sniffs and my heart cracking inside my chest.
Nineteen
Sophie
“Mom?” Emma’s voice wavers as I rush into her hospital room.
I run to her side, gripping her hand. “I’m here sweetie, I’m sorry it took me so long, but I’m here now. It’s going to be okay. I got you.” The relief on my baby girl’s face twists my heart in my chest.
I can’t believe I wasn’t here when she needed me. First, her dad abandons her for his new girlfriend, then I’m off in Seattle, being seduced by my billionaire boss, drinking expensive champagne and having mind-blowing sex when she ends up in the emergency room.
“Have they done anything yet?” I’m not sure who I’m asking, Emma or Lauren, but it’s Lauren who answers. How is it possible she looks cute in a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, her glasses on and hair sticking out all over?
“Just started her on a saline drip and gave her some anti-nausea and pain medication. She hasn’t puked in about an hour. They were holding off on surgery until you got here since she seemed to be doing okay.”
I lean down to press a kiss to Emma’s head. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. How are you feeling?”
“It still really hurts.” Emma’s whimper has tears pricking at my eyes. Before I can lose it completely, a doctor sticks her head in the door, knocking on the frame.
She’s middle-aged, her brown hair pulled back in a low bun. She exudes competence and some of my panic eases. If anyone can explain the meaning of the universe to me, it’s this woman.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Carrie Garcia. You must be Mom?” She holds her hand out and I shake it.
“Yes, I’m Emma’s mom, Sophie. Is she okay? Do you know what it is?” The questions I’ve been dying to ask come tumbling out.
“It looks like her appendix is inflamed, we’re going to need to do an emergency appendectomy.”
“Surgery?” My stomach drops.
Dr. Garcia nods. “It’s a routine, laparoscopic procedure. And as long as we don’t encounter any complications, recovery should be pretty straightforward.” I listen while Dr. Garcia explains the process to me, Lauren and Emma listening in.
A nurse appears and produces a clipboard from somewhere, going over the forms with me as Dr. Garcia talks to Emma and examines her.As soon as she’s done, there’s a whirlwind of nurses and people bustling around the room and then I’m squeezing my baby and kissing her forehead as they roll her away for surgery.
I gulp as I sign the line promising to pay for all treatments. Emma’s covered by Jake’s insurance as part of the custody agreement, and I don’t know much about the policy, but I pray to any god listening that it covers everything.
I hold her hand while the nurses bustle around. “I’ll be right here when you get back. I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”
“Mom, stop feeling guilty, geez. I’ll be fi—” Her last word ends with a groan. Clutching her stomach, Emma rolls onto her side and curls up in a ball.
A fresh wave of guilt and tears hit me at the sight. I rub her back and make soothing noises, at a loss for how to help her. A hand touches my shoulder, making me jump. “We got her.” The nurse pushes me away gently, taking my place on the side of the bed. “We’ll be back soon, just hang tight.”
“I love you!” I call out as they wheel the bed out of the room and down the hall. I keep it together until they’re gone, before collapsing against Lauren in tears.
“I can’t believe I wasn’t here.”
