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“No, no.” I interrupt him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just need to go home and get my life sorted out. I had an epiphany on the dance floor, nothing to do with you.”
“What kind of epiphany?” He raises an eyebrow, head cocked to the side. He’s really not an unattractive man. If I’d met him in another life, I could be attracted to him. But he’s not Teddy. And I don’t have the time or energy in my life to invest in a relationship.
“The kind where I realize I can’t keep on going like I am.”
Lauren shoulders her way between us, giving Danny a dirty look. “You ready?”
Am I ready to start taking charge of my life? For real this time, not just reacting to things I can’t control?
“Yeah. I’m ready.”
Twenty-two
Theo
“Did we get a particularly useless batch of interns, or is it just me?” I don’t even have to pretend to be an asshole. The black hole Sophie ripped in my chest has swallowed up every ounce of good-nature I possess. And to make matters worse, she didn’t return to work on Monday like she said she would. It’s Thursday and I haven’t seen a trace of her. How am I supposed to get anything done when she’s not here?
No one answers. A conference room packed full of software developers and not a single one speaks up. Probably for the best, I don’t want an answer.
“Someone get me a working pen.” I growl, tossing the useless dry erase marker on the table, letting it roll across the wooden surface. It hits someone’s mug and spins off onto the floor, a soft thump as it hits the carpet echoing in the silent room.
All the engineers freeze, eyes wide, before a mad scramble ensues, hands patting pockets and digging through purses to find me a new pen. Ignoring them, I turn back to the white board where I was outlining the software I started developing, the one inspired by Sophie’s conversation with the head of IT at the hospital. Embedding the notes and videos into each case file wasn’t the problem, the problem is that now I want to figure out how to allow the doctors or nurses to make notes directly in the video file itself. If teenagers on social media can do it, why can’t we?
“Mr. Sutton?”
“What?” It’s more bark than word. I turn from the whiteboard to find myself face to face with the newest software developer on our staff. Frankie Emory is a wisp of a thing, her big brown eyes wide and fearful as I turn the full force of my bad mood on her.
“H-h-here.” She thrusts a dry erase marker at me before scurrying away to sit in the chair furthest from me. Fuck. The new girl didn’t deserve that. Guilt gnaws at me when I catch her scooting her chair into the shadow of the older dev sitting next to her.
Derek turns to speak to her, shooting me a cautious look over his shoulder after she responds too quietly for me to hear. The guilt turns into full-fledged regret over my actions. I know I’ve cultivated a reputation for being an asshole, but I’ve never laid into anyone who hadn’t deserved it. Until now.
If Sophie was here, I know exactly what she’d say. Really Teddy? Is being an asshole doing anyone any good? Are they actually paying attention, or are they so scared you’ll fire one of them in a fit of rage that they’re just praying for it to be over? Is this making you feel any better?
The growling helps, but that’s not respect in their eyes as they stare up at me from the table. It’s fear.
And it’s not making me feel any better.
“You know what? I think we’re good for now. If everyone could go ahead and start working on what we’ve got, maybe do some brainstorming on your own, I’ll have Mercedes schedule another meeting when I get back.” I nod to Mercedes, knowing she’ll take care of the follow up, and stride from the room.
Back in my office, I’m halfway through booking myself a flight to California when Mercedes sticks her head in. “Sir? Where exactly are you going? And when will you be back?”
I glare at her. She glares right back.
“You have a meeting with Mr. Edwards tomorrow at ten that I’ll need to reschedule.” Her reminder that I can’t just up and walk away from everything isn’t helping my mood, but she’s right.
Rubbing my temples, I slump back in my chair. “I’m going to go visit my sister and her kids. I’ll be back in a week…ish.” I have to get out of here. Every time I walk past that desk and Sophie isn’t there, my heart cracks just a little more. Hiding it behind my asshole persona just isn’t enough anymore, not now that I’ve had a taste of her.
“Sir?”
I look up, surprised that Mercedes is still there. “Yes?”
She leans back, looking around, before stepping inside my office and shutting the door behind her, then crossing to my desk and sitting down in a chair. “You better not be giving up.”
“Giving up? On what?”
Mercedes just raises an eyebrow at me. “What did I say about the soap?” She pauses, letting her words sink in. “You’ve been happier in the last three weeks than I’ve ever seen you. She’s good for you.”
I shake my head, not bothering to deny her words. “That’s not the problem Mercedes. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But she doesn’t feel the same way. She won’t let me in, won’t let me help. Every time I offer, she pushes me away.”
