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“Right, okay. So here’s the thing.” Her voice is steady, but the way her fingers twist the leash in her hand gives away her nerves. “I need money.”
I can’t stop the twist in my face at her words any more than I can stop the disappointment that settles in my gut. Of course. How could I expect anything less? I push back up to my feet, but she stops me with her next words. “Wait! I didn’t say that right. I need to earn money.”
“Why?” The word is more of a growl, but I’m beyond being nice right now.
Emma looks away, her eyes darting to Max and back to me. “Um. I just do.”
“Emma…”
Max sniffs the bush at the end of my yard, interested in whatever dog left his calling card there earlier. If I focus on him, maybe I won’t yell at the reminder of who I lost, staring at me from the middle of my yard.
“It’s not for anything bad, I promise, Teddy. I just…” Some of her hair falls in her face and she blows it away, her face transforming from a young lady negotiating her first business deal to a little kid in that second. It reminds me of baby Clara, laughing and blowing bubbles in her food. My heart twitches in my chest at the sight. How does this kid get under my skin so easily? It’s unfair.
I deflate at the uncertainty in her face. Emma hasn’t done anything. I can’t growl and intimidate her into saying what I want to hear, it would be wrong and I know it. “So you need to earn money and can’t tell me why. What is your proposal?”
“Let me walk Max for you a couple times a week.”
“No.” The pain in my chest at turning Emma down is sharp and hard. If only she knew how desperately I wish I could say yes, to keep that tie to both her and Sophie
Emma’s eyes go wide at my sharp word. “But, don’t you have to work late sometimes?”
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
Max comes bounding over, oblivious to the standoff between us. He licks Emma’s leg in passing before plopping down in front of me. Emma crosses her arms, one teenage hip cocked to the side. It takes everything in me not to smile at the expression on her face, one that Sophie has given me more than once.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not appropriate, Emma.”
“Bullshit. How else am I supposed to earn some money? There are no kids in our apartment complex for me to babysit. Babysitting and dog-walking are my only marketable skills.” She shrugs. “And don’t say it’s because my mom works for you,” she adds before I can open my mouth.
“Not anymore.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. It’s only as the shock registers across Emma’s face that I realize my mistake.
“What?” Her shriek is loud enough to send Max scrambling behind me. “Did you fire my mom?”
Leaping to my feet, I fumble with Max’s leash and my own hands, not sure what to do with them in the face of an upset and outraged teenage girl. “No wait, I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I—”
“Did you fire my mom? Why? Is it because of me? Because she took all that time off to be with me?”
“No, I promise that’s not what—” I stop to take a breath and think about how to diffuse the situation. “Emma, listen to me for a second. I didn’t fire Sophie, I promise. She put in her notice today. Didn’t you know? She hasn’t been at work all afternoon, I assumed she was home with you.”
The questions and vague rumblings coming from Emma stop. “What? No. I mean, no I didn’t know. She quit? Why would she quit? Okay, well now you really have to let me walk Max for you 'cause if she—”
It’s my turn to interrupt, try to get the conversation back to safe ground. “Hang on, just take a second. Let’s start this whole thing over. You want me to pay you to walk Max a couple days a week because you need money. Why do you need the money, Emma?”
Cheeks pink, Emma takes a comically deep breath before blurting out, “Well, originally I wanted to earn the money ‘cause I know that the bill from my hospital stay was stupid big, because my stupid dad didn’t tell my mom that his insurance got cancelled because he lost his job again, so I wanted to help with the bill maybe a little, or at least not have to ask her for money for stuff. But if she quit her job then we really need the money so please, please, Teddy let me walk Max. Please?”
I don’t know if it’s the extra ‘please’ at the end or the panicked tears spilling down Emma’s cheeks that rip the last Band-aid holding my heart together, but the anger and blackness that have been threatening me ever since I saw that email crash over me. A tidal wave of emotion I can’t control or outsmart engulfs me. I don’t even bother to fight it anymore—I’m too tired of fighting it. So I do the one thing I shouldn’t. I open my big mouth.
“What the actual fuck is happening right now? I said no, Emma, and I meant it. If your mom wants my help she’s going to have to grow a pair and ask me for it herself. Not apply for the company fund or ask her kid to walk my fucking dog. I can’t fucking believe this. This is a joke right?” I pace up and down the lawn in front of my house. “First, your mom gets under my skin with her daily ‘Good Morning, Mr. Sutton’ routine, and somehow I come to count on it to start my day. Then she shows up for the gala as Elinor and is so goddamn sexy and full of sass and it completely takes me by surprise. And we have the most amazing time together, but does she want to date me? No, she wants to keep it a secret. Will she let me take her out? I have to practically kidnap her to get her to go on a fucking date. And God forbid I offer to help in any way.”
I glare at Emma, as if she has any control over the situation. I should stop talking, she doesn’t want to hear this, but the words pour out of me.
“Oh no. Not Sophie, she can’t accept any help when it’s offered. She’ll just slave away and work for pennies when I’m offering her everything. Jesus fucking Christ, she’s driving me crazy. And then to top it all off, she’ll accept help from strangers, from anyone but me. Why not me, huh, Emma?”
