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I shuck my jeans and toss them on the bed while I fish my sweatpants off the floor. My phone makes a noise from the pile on the bed as I pull them on. Digging it out of the pocket, hoping it’s Julian, I’m only mildly disappointed to see it’s not.
Sophie: Hey, sweetie. I figured I’d text since you seemed a little shy at lunch. Is everything ok with you and Julian?
Me: Funny you texted, I was just thinking I might need your advice.
Sophie: I’m all ears, and I promise to keep this just between us.
I flop back on my bed, another piece of furniture I’ll never be able to think of the same. At this rate, I’m going to run out of places in my apartment that don’t remind me of Julian.
Me: I haven’t heard from Julian all day, and I’m worried I may have hurt his feelings this morning. I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but after we had our ‘coffee’ this morning, my family called to sing to me, and I kinda, sorta, maybe kicked him out. I’m worried he might be mad at me.
While I wait for her to respond, I look around my apartment, noting the peeling paint on the kitchen cabinets. I really need a new place—preferably one in a better neighborhood, now that I can afford it.
Sophie: Do you normally go this long without hearing from him? Why don’t you text him?
I don’t know how to explain without telling her the whole truth. Why is this so hard?
Me: Well, the call kind of interrupted us before I could…return the favor? You’ve known Julian longer than me. Do you think he would be mad about it?
Three gray dots appear and disappear off my screen. It takes so long for a response to come through I start handwashing this morning’s mugs to keep occupied until my phone buzzes again.
Sophie: Sorry, Teddy just got here. I mean, obviously I don’t know Julian the way YOU do, but I can’t imagine that he would be the kind of guy to get upset over something like that. It is your birthday, maybe he just wanted to give. Lord knows, there’s been enough times that Teddy hasn’t wanted anything in return.
Things I never wanted to know about the CEO.
Me: Is that a thing?
Sophie: Um, girl. Yes, it’s a thing. Haven’t you ever wanted to, you know, just give a guy a gift? It’s the same thing.
Sophie: Wait. I know you said you grew up really sheltered, but just how sheltered are we talking? Isn’t your one brother gay?
Sophie: Shit, you don’t have to answer that, I’m being really nosy and rude, sorry. Listen. Julian is a genuinely nice guy. I’m sure he isn’t mad at you for not returning the favor. But you should probably text him and see if he’s okay if he looked upset earlier. That’s what I would do anyway.
Sophie: Lauren would probably already be over there giving him a bj, so I guess, take your pick? Also, apologies for so many texts. I gotta run, Teddy and Emma are waiting for me to watch a movie. You’ll think of something.
If only I had as much faith in myself as Sophie does.
Fifteen
Julian
I set aside my book when my phone chimes for the twelfth time in as many minutes. I’ve been stretched out on the couch most of the afternoon, alternating between watching a basketball game and reading, too distracted to concentrate on either. The faint scent of cleaning solution still lingers in the air after I came home and cleaned it top to bottom to work out my anger at being dismissed so abruptly. Not even jerking off in the shower to the image of Frankie’s satisfied face made a dent in my pent-up emotions.
Nights like this make me eternally grateful society has evolved to unlimited texting cell phone plans. Liam would send me into bankruptcy without it.
Liam: But like how do you KNOW a girl’s into you? And don’t tell me I’ll just know. That’s what Mom and Martin both said, and I think it’s BS.
If only he still asked me easy questions like, what is Neptune made of? Or why do farts smell? Google doesn’t have the answers I need anymore.
Me: Does she text you? Or snap you or whatever new form of communication you kids are using these days?
Liam sends me a string of eyeroll emojis before answering.
Liam: Yes.
Me: Does she spend time with you willingly?
Now I’m hurting my own feelings, remembering how Frankie flipped a switch on me this morning.
