Page 64 of Chief-of-Security


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“Frankie, how well do you think you know Julian?” Sophie’s question sends nervous tingles down my spine. I’ve known Sophie for a long time, three years of working side-by-side at Mailbox means she knows things about me I haven’t told many other people.

“I thought pretty well, but from your question, it sounds like not nearly as well as I thought.”

“His stories aren’t mine to tell, but I will say this. His heart is as big as he is, and softer than you would ever know. I would bet that he’s hurting right now, Frankie. I tried to hint at it before, but he’s not a man who gives his heart partially. He doesn’t hold back. If you’re in his life, you’re in it one hundred percent. But you—I hate to sound mean, Frankie—but you don’t give much.”

“I don’t—what?” Frankie sounds hurt by Sophie’s words. It takes everything in me not to storm over there and scoop her up in my arms and tell Sophie off for hurting Frankie’s feelings. But the rest of Sophie’s words have me frozen in place. Damn. She has me feeling exposed, vulnerable. I don’t particularly enjoy the sensation.

“What Sophie is trying to say, Frankie, is that you’re guarded,” Lauren explains. “And from what we’ve managed to pry out of you, I get why.”

Sophie jumps in, her words quick and high-pitched. “We know you’ve had some bad experiences. But if you want Julian, you’re going to have to give him more than ‘maybe.’ You need to be all in or all out.”

I’ve heard enough. My skin crawls with the need to escape, to stop being dissected by these women. I make my way out of the hotel, ordering an Uber. Heart pounding, I fire off a text to Frankie that I might regret later and wait.

Twenty-one

Frankie

Lauren’s resting her head on Sophie’s shoulder, eyes closed. Sophie reaches up a hand to pat her cheek before pressing a kiss to the top of Lauren’s head. Envy of their bond flares through me, but I squash it down, still irritated at both of them.

“Frankie, we didn’t mean it as an insult.” Sophie’s voice is soft, soothing. “We both really like you. Emma adores you, and I love what a good role model you are for her. Seriously. She’s been talking about majoring in some kind of STEM field, and I’m pretty sure that has more to do with you than anything Teddy, her father, or I have done. You’re an amazing person. Truly.”

I relax slightly. “Thanks. Emma’s a great kid, you know. She reminds me of my little sisters.”

Sophie reaches across the table to grab my hand and squeezes, careful not to disturb Lauren. “You are the older sister I never knew she needed. Thank you.”

“But?”

“But you’re hurting Julian. And he’s my friend too.”

I hang my head. She’s right. But I don’t know how to fix this. When I didn't see him come back inside, I assumed he left, and now my phone is dead, so I can’t send him a thank you or anything. “I know.”

“Can I ask you a simple question? Yes or no answer?”

“Sure.”

“Do you want your relationship with Julian to be real?”

“It’s not that—”

Sophie glares at me, and I shut my mouth. Emma was right—she’s scary when she’s serious. “It is that simple. Yes or no?”

I don’t answer for a long moment, letting my memories of the last month wash through me. Going to lunch. Walking to my car after work. Every moment we’ve spent together has been cut off, cut short by something. If I’m really being honest with myself, it’s because of me. I’ve been the one stopping us short, pulling away. Pulling back.

Why?

Because I don’t want him to realize that he could do better than me.

“He’s so… nice. Why would he want someone like me? I’m kind of a hermit and an asshole, as we’ve established.”

Sophie chuckles, holding Lauren’s head so it doesn’t slip off her shoulder. “Only a little bit of an asshole. And it’s because you’ve been hurt. Rejection will do that to you, babe. But I didn’t ask if he wants you. That’s not your question to answer. I asked if you want something real with him. That’s it. It’s a simple question, Frankie. What do you want?”

Before I can answer, Mr. Sutton finds us, smiling softly at Sophie in a way that pulls at me. I want that with Julian. I want to be the one he can’t help smiling at.

“Is she…?” He waves a hand in Lauren’s direction.

“I’m not asleep.” Lauren’s declaration surprises me, I assumed she was out for the count. “I was just gathering my thoughts.” She cracks one eye open, glaring at me. “You and I need to have words.”

“Sunshine, I hate to cut the party short, but are you ready to go home?” He holds out a hand to her.

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