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I smile at him. “I like the rest of you, too.”
“Just like? Ouch,” Rueben complains, frowning. “You don’t feel like we’re yours?”
“Rueben,” Bishop cuts in sharply.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think right now. Pretending to be Scarlett has messed things up for all of us. I didn’t come here thinking you guys were going to be my fated mates. I came here thinking I’d get some time to relax away from the city. I’m attracted to all of you, but you were all attracted to Scarlett, for how long?”
I look around, and I can tell they don’t like the question.
I don’t like it either. It’s bad enough that they’ve been thinking about her at all.
“We’ve suspected she might be our true mate for few years,” Bishop admits. “But it wasn’t because of an attraction, believe me. We just saw her and felt a connection. It wasn’t how I imagined a true mate connection would feel, and I think that’s probably because it was false. I didn’t know that was a thing, but apparently it does occasionally happen.”
“And I haven’t helped things by coming out here pretending I’m her,” I add.
“Maybe not.” Bishop, being the sweet guy he is, remains non-committal about my involvement in the creation of this mess. He shrugs.
“So, maybe we should try to start over?” I ask, not feeling sure about it, but knowing we need to start somewhere.
He smiles. “I think we’d all like that.”
“Including with Gus,” Rueben adds quickly.
Bishop shakes his head. “That’s up to Sapphire.”
I look at Gus. I can’t help the warm fuzzy feelings he’s giving me.
He has an advantage, I guess, and I’m not mad about it.
“It’s fairer if we all get to start over,” Rueben says, clearly feeling a little desperate.
I press my lips together, and when I open them, I disappoint him.
“Sorry, but I’ve been supressing my perfume for eight years. My first heat will probably come in soon now that I’ve met you all, and I’ll need an Alpha when it does.”
It’s only the truth, but sometimes that hurts more than a lie.
So much for trying to take things slow. I’ve basically just told Gus I want to sleep with him, not that he couldn’t already tell what I wanted when he smelled my perfume before. It’s awkward, because I can’t admit to wanting the same from the rest of his pack and I don’t know if that condition’s going to change anytime soon.
Rueben stays uncharacteristically quiet.
“We understand,” Bishop assures me.
“Does that mean you’re staying here with us?” Scout asks.
Considering my heat could come in at any time, and it could be painful if I don’t have a mate around who can ease it quickly, I nod. “For now, I think I might need to. If that’s okay?”
“We’ll be happy to have you,” Bishop says. “If there’s anything you need from next door, we can get it for you, if it helps?”
“Actually, I don’t have anything of my own out here at all,” I admit. “Aside from a bottle of suppressants and those are pretty much going to be useless now.”
“I can take you into the city if you want to pick up some of your clothes,” Gus offers.
“After dinner, at least,” Bishop starts, hesitating for a second before adding, “The morning would be better, so you’re not coming back while it’s dark out.”
The temptation to do what Bishop wants me to do is strong. I know he’s the lead Alpha of this pack, and I’ll be expected to take direction from him when I’m officially a part of that pack, but right now I want nothing more than to be wearing my own clothes, and, honestly, using my own shampoo and makeup. I’d also kind of like to grab my laptop so I can keep up with work. I really wasn’t thinking straight when I came out here without it.
I realize Gus is watching me, waiting for me to decide.
