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Chapter 27
Astrid
I missed lunch to make class, so by dinnertime, I’m starving like a pig and eating like one too. Despite the bombshells littered in my path, my emotions don’t dictate my appetite. That comes from growing up poor. You eat when you have food, not when you feel like it. I sit with Roni and Terri but hardly join in the conversation though they try to draw me in.
My eyes keep landing on Charlotte. And she does her best to ignore me. I watch her get up from her table and float over toward Bryce. Before class, I told the kid at the first desk that I wanted to switch. She shrugged her shoulders and sat in the back, closer to Bryce, while my focus stayed on the board. The kid behind me tapped my shoulder, but I refused to turn around. A note dropped on the floor, and at the end of class, I left it there when I walked out. Unread.
Now, Charlotte is sitting next to Bryce, flipping her long hair and smiling as she touches his shoulder. I look away when his gaze meets mine. Let him think what he wants, but it’s not him I want. Not anymore.
Charlotte finally gets up to leave with one of her friends. I finish off my milk and grab my books.
“Where are you off to?” asks Roni. She glances over at the boys’ table, and they’re all there.
“I have to study.” I don’t look her in the eye. “I’ll meet you at the dorm later.”
Roni watches me, but my gaze is locked on Charlotte as she passes through the outer door. Her silvery laughter carries in the biting air, and I spot her heading toward the faculty building. I don’t stop to think why she’s headed there. I start running as fast as I can move. I reach my hand out in a quick movement, accidentally tugging her hair.
“Ouch!” she shouts, glaring at me as she spins around. “What is your problem?” Her friend Wren, with the matching hair in light brown, glares at me, but she might as well disappear.
“That was an accident,” I explain.
Charlotte smiles devilishly but doesn’t respond. Dare I guess what she’s thinking?
“I need to talk to you.” My eyes plead with her. “It can’t wait.”
She sighs as if I’m asking for too much. “Wren,” she says to her friend, “I’ll text, okay?”
Wren smiles at Charlotte, gives me side-eye, and then walks off. I don’t have time for her. I step back away from the door to the faculty building, which looks closed. But I don’t even have time to wonder why she was about to go in there. We stand near an old oak, and I place my hand on its rough bark that scratches my palm with its weathered edges. I hope it will share some of its strength with me.
“I spoke to my mom, and I need to know more about our dad.”
Charlotte kicks the ground with her toe, getting mud on her polished pump. “What do you want to know?”
“My mother told me not to tell. Why?” I ask.
Charlotte makes a face. “Because he’s married to my mother.”
“I know, but there has to be something else,” I insist, “Your dad did nothing for us for years. And now he just pops up and tells us what to do.”
She shrugs again but avoids my gaze. “Sounds like him.”
“But why?” I ask, “Why does he want to run our lives? I haven’t even met him yet.”
“What did your mother say?” she whispers.
“She told me he wouldn’t pay for Stonehaven or her rehab if people knew I was his daughter.” My voice trails off, and I have to look at the ground quickly. Everything that has gone wrong suddenly hits me when I say that. This person that’s responsible for my existence doesn’t want me. He wants to control me so I won’t ruin his life. But he doesn’t give two fucks about mine.
Charlotte’s expression is hidden in the moonlight, but I can sense that her flippant attitude is gone. She moves closer to me, and I stiffen, hoping she won’t place a hand on me. I don’t want pity. All it got me was sorry looks and false sympathy before it transformed me into a victim. I fought hard so people wouldn’t treat me as if I were less than them.
“What happened to your mom?” I ask softly.
“My mom has lung cancer,” she says softly, “She smoked to keep herself thin. Stupid, really. And then, when the doctor told her to stop, she drank. She’d probably be in rehab, too, if she wasn’t so weak.”
I lift my eyes to her face. “My mom’s in a lot of pain.”
“So is mine,” she whispers, “Astrid, I didn’t mean to fuck up your life by telling you. And I know I sound selfish when I tell you to watch your reputation. But things are different here from where you came from.”
I was starting to like her until she said that. “I saw you sitting by Bryce.”
Charlotte lifts her chin. I can’t see her face clearly, but I swear she’s looking down her nose at me. “I told you, Bryce and I have an understanding. We don’t necessarily have to marry, but I told him that he should be a gentleman and say I dumped him.”
I blink my eyes in disbelief over the bullshit that I’m hearing. I back away from her. “Look, just don’t tell anyone else we’re related. Okay?”
“Not a problem, Astrid,” she replies with an acid tone, “Your secret is safe with me. But they all probably know.”
