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“Is this your unwashed undergarment?”
I pause.
“Don’t you lie to me,” she warns, “The whoring and the stealing I can forgive once, but lie to me, and I will drag you out of here by your hair, and believe me, I will. Your strength will be a poor match against my sheer determination.”
I doubt that very much. “They’re mine.” I admit.
“I knew it. I found them hidden in his drawer.”
“You searched his room too?” I shake my head.
“Of course. He accused you of misconduct in his room, and I wasn’t going to take his word for it.” Rawlins takes a breath and sighs. “Astrid, these are my people. I know how they are and what they expect. If you’re not born knowing, it can be a hard world to learn. You’d have an easier time learning Russian from a Spanish textbook.”
Standing up, I’ve hit my limit of abuse for one day.
“I am constantly reminded that I don’t belong,” I say, “Everything I do, everything I say, is an opportunity to make me feel small. It’s not like I was born knowing, and they don’t have a course on it. I never asked to come to Stonehaven. My friends are all at another school, and I’m not supposed to mingle with them because they’re low class. Well, guess what? I’m low-class and proud.”
Rawlins looks unimpressed with my speech. “It would’ve helped if you had read the handbook.”
“You aren’t going to give me an inch.”
“No, I can’t,” she replies, “One bad apple spoils the student body, and then the school drops in rating. It loses money, and our collective world loses its prestige.”
“I can’t go back to my old school,” I reply, thinking about Mom. I sit down heavily. “So, what do you want me to do?”
“This is a conversation you should have had with your father,” Rawlins takes a breath. “It has put us both in an awkward position. I should speak to you about academia and your future. Not about your antics that befit a juvenile delinquent. I blame your father who dumped you here at Stonehaven as if we were a daycare and left you to fend for yourself.”
“My father won’t speak to me,” I reply bitterly, “He won’t acknowledge me. I can’t even say his name.”
“Do you know it?” she asks, tilting her head.
“No, but if I did…”
Rawlins frowns and doesn’t pursue. “Your father is coming here in a week to see you.”
I grip the chair. “What? Why?”
“He wants to meet you,” Rawlins replies, “Nothing that has transpired has been brought to his attention by me.”
“I did nothing wrong!” I stare at her hard without shame. “Whether you believe me or not. They aren’t nice boys.”
“Then stay away from them,” she says. “Astrid, I’m sure you’re a lovely person, but you’ve lost sight of your goals. You’ve been set adrift, and you might lose yourself. I’ve seen this happen with other students. Coming to Stonehaven is like crashing a family reunion where you obviously don’t belong. Maybe no one will say anything, but they’ll make you feel uncomfortable.”
