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She ignores my disbelieving expression. “He will. I just have to tell him to. Boys like that need guidance, especially ones who haven’t dated much.”
She’s deluded herself into thinking that Terri is worth marrying. I’ve seen them on campus, and they look like strangers whose hands are stuck together with epoxy. “Charlotte, please let him go to whoever he wants.”
“Is this your roommate talking again?” Charlotte’s blue eyes flash as her gaze cuts like shattered glass. “He’s no longer interested in her, and she should stop throwing herself at him. It’s pathetic. The way she stares at Terri makes him feel guilty.”
I shift in my seat as I form words that are hard for me to say. “Charlotte, why do you want a person so badly that you don’t even love?”
It’s not clear what reaches her—my words or the sincerity in my voice. Charlotte’s mask slips and exposes her raw thoughts. There’s fear in her eyes when she meets my gaze again. “Astrid, have you ever had a sense of dread for no good reason at all?”
Blinking, I stare at Charlotte as if she can read minds. “What do you mean?”
She looks at her pretty pink nails and begins to pick the polish off. “I feel like something bad is going to happen to me. I can’t say what, but every once in a while, I feel a chill on the back of my neck as if someone is touching me with a cold finger.” She tries to laugh when she notices my creeped-out expression but can’t. “Did you know that Dad hasn’t put a headstone on my mother’s grave yet?”
I place my hand on her thigh and hold onto her. “Charlotte, are you okay?”
She giggles, but the look in her eyes is way off. She looks worried, and I’ve never see her look troubled before. “I’m just hedging my bets for the future,” she says, “Don’t listen to me.”
“Why would you even need to hedge your bets?” I ask her seriously. “You’re Charlotte fucking Howland. Men drop to their knees so you can walk all over them.” Charlotte laughs for real, but I desperately continue to make my point. “Charlotte, you’re smarter than you think, and you’re doing yourself a serious disservice by clinging to some bullshit about needing a man. You don’t need to find a husband to take care of you. Stonehaven is not the world, and once we leave through those gates, we don’t have to follow its fucked-up rules anymore.”
“Says the girl who is dating four men.” Her cold gaze makes my skin crawl.
Charlotte crushes my argument into pieces. I grimace because I have to tell her the entire truth so she won’t be made a fool of. “Terri is still after Roni.”
“Oh, not that again.” She screws up her pretty face. “He talks about her, you know. Like we should all be fucking friends and sit together at the dining hall. I might consider sharing,” she eyes me. “But not Terri.”
“So, why do you stay with him?” I ask.
Charlotte stares off into space as if thinking it over. “He talks about going to Comic-Con, or whatever the hell it is. He wants to miss the fundraiser at the hospital so he can dress up like Dr. Strange and walk around in public in a cape and tights. What the fuck is wrong with him?” She sighs, leaning back in her chair. “He complains that he doesn’t belong in my world.”
“Let him go, Charlotte. Please.”
“You’re right, but what a waste.” Charlotte giggles, then covers her face with her hands. “The sex is fantastic, in case you want to know. I might miss that.” She smiles wickedly as my mouth drops open. “The pictures don’t lie. It is massive.”
I gawk and then think about Roni’s shoebox. “He has no trouble getting it up?”
Charlotte shakes her head. “No. Besides, I suck it until it’s like a rock.” she laughs. “Bryce is better; he does that thing with his tongue, so don’t get any ideas.”
“Terri isn’t for you or for me either,” I reply, “You might get his last name, but you’ll never get his heart. He doesn’t want the prom queen, Charlotte. He wants the geek with the glasses who’s firmly planted in his comfort zone.”
“You’re right. But I hate being alone.” She stares out the window, and the dimming sunlight strikes her eyes as if they’re lit from within. She could do so much better, with or without a man.
