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I glare at him and open the book. Fuck. Why did he say that? I start to squirm at the thought of what he has in his jeans. I fidget, moving my thigh away from his, and being a typical man, he sits with his legs wide open.
“Please read with your mouth closed,” I tell him sternly.
“Not what you said last night.” He licks his lips.
“You haven’t told anyone?”
“I won’t if you behave. I haven’t checked my phone today. Any new content?” Asher asks mischievously, and then he’s dead serious. “You should stop. In fact, if I were you, I’d delete it.”
“It’s not an option,” I reply, “I need to survive on something. Besides, what would you have over me if I did delete it?”
“Look, I’m trying to help.”
“Help?” I squeak, and even in the noisiest part of the library, I get a few glaring looks. “Help?” I whisper, “You had your chance to help so many times. Don’t pretend to give a shit. When I figure out a way to cut you loose—”
“I’m telling you how,” he whispers, “Look, what happened at Monarch—I did it to protect you.”
My head whips around in his direction. “You have to be fucking kidding me. You think that was protecting me?”
“It would’ve been worse if they didn’t get something,” he hisses, “I let them take a little from you but no more.”
“Fight Club protected me.”
“No, Charlotte. I watched over you. Fight Club spent all their time at the gym. Do you think a bit of hair would’ve calmed the Monarch scum down? Every day someone wanted to jump your ass, and I said hands off. Fight Club made it easier, but I was looking out for you. And it cost me, Charlotte.”
“Is that what you call protection?” I ask him defiantly. “And now, you’re blackmailing me?”
“Just be careful here. These snobby people will cut you loose. Don’t you want to get in with them again? Don’t you want your second chance?”
I sigh, looking at the book again. “I do, so maybe I shouldn’t be hanging out with you.”
“Hey!” A girl in Doc Martens, black leggings, and an enormous sweater stands in front of us with her hands planted on her hips. “If you two aren’t going to read that book, then I need it.”
“We’re still looking at it,” I tell her with a ton of attitude in my voice.
She rolls her eyes and then sucks her teeth. “Doesn’t look like it. Other people need it for the exam.”
“Well, I’m not done with it,” I tell her.
She turns her back on us and, under her breath, says, “Just fuck already.”
I glare at her back, but Asher reaches for the book and starts reading again. That bitch. If this were Stonehaven, she wouldn’t have dared to act like that. Not with me. I start reading too, but I’m not absorbing anything. Is any place like Stonehaven? I might have to face the truth that my cloistered world will never be the same again. Even if nothing had changed, I would’ve left the bubble of privilege once I left high school.
I glance over at Asher and realize that I’m fooling myself. He fits in better here than I do. Maybe not with the rich kids but definitely with everyone else. Perhaps I should delete the account, suck it up, and get a waitstaff job at the cafeteria. Other people have campus jobs, and it’s less shaming than an OnlyFriends account. I could stop pretending that my bank account isn’t missing a couple of zeroes.
I gaze at Asher, his head bent and his lips slightly open but not moving. Maybe I should face the facts that my old world has vanished and enter his.
Chapter 16
Jaxon
Who the fuck thought up parents’ weekend? One of the perks of going to college out-of-state is to get away from mommy and daddy. I take another swig of Jim Beam, sitting by the scarred oak tree. Not that I have a fuck to worry about. Crystal isn’t showing up here. My mother has distanced herself from me because I distanced myself from her. She knows what she did but won’t admit it. Maybe she can’t because she’s a selfish cunt. There is nothing maternal about my mother except her ability to give birth.
I debate on heading back to the campus. I’m sure I’m not the only parentless loser on campus. I can find another loser to hang with. I tilt my head back and polish off the bottle. Leaving the empty here is sacrilege, and I look at the canopy of red leaves overhead. Nature can be tender or brutal. It’s easier to forgive its capriciousness, not so easy to overlook a mother’s.
I toss the empty into the first dumpster I see, which happens to be on campus. And then, I survey the scene at the dorms. Ranger Rovers, Mercedes, and Beamers are parked along the path. Parents walk around on tours, smiling to see how their money is being spent on their offspring.
One lone person breaks off from the crowd and heads purposefully toward the Wingate, carrying a greasy bag of food from the cafeteria. Charlotte. She’s alone like me. I don’t know how I feel about her yet. She’s a very pretty blonde and sexy in her tight jeans. She might have some depth because she deflects my bullshit. Her attitude is solemn compared to the other freshmen girls, and I’m unsure if I want to handle it.
