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“I want a bad reputation. I want it to be my calling card.” I lie on the grass again. “You’re being held down by that good upbringing. You haven’t discovered the wonders of acting out.”
“Aren’t you afraid of catching something?” she asks.
I snort. “You’re missing your calling, Charlotte. You should go into law. The star witness for the defense will crumble under your interrogation.”
“And you assume I won’t be helping the opposing side?”
“Not you.” I watch her. “You’ve been through some shit, but deep down, you still give one.”
“Well, in case you ask, I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m not looking for one either. I’m here for my degree.”
We bullshit for a little longer about classes, and then I give her my flannel shirt when she holds her arms in that light sweatshirt. I tell her I’m fine in my T-shirt, which I am. And she wraps my shirt around her shoulders and then offers me another muffin. She’s a sweet girl, and I get the feeling I could really talk to her. We could be friends if we opened up more. I have a feeling Charlotte would get my life, even if she’s never had a bad day. At least one that comes close to the ones I’ve had. Anyone as guarded as she is has to get what actual pain is about. It jabs at me, not telling her to steer clear of those two jerks.
“You look cold,” she says, pulling off my shirt.
I can’t help but check her out again as her breasts push against her top. I sit up, and I can’t help it. My dick likes to direct my life choices. “Have you ever made out with a guy with piercings?”
She giggles. “You really should stop trying. Don’t you want at least one woman to like you on campus?”
We wander back toward the dorm, taking our time, and the parents have all but gone to town or headed home. Charlotte looks relieved, and actually, I am too. I hold the door open for her as we head to the fourth floor. I don’t make the turn toward my room. I turn toward hers.
“Are you following me to my room?” she asks.
“I’m making sure you get back safely.” I grin. “I’d hate for someone to take pity on you and invite you on a family outing.”
She shakes her head and opens the door. “Come on in, but you better behave.”
“Badly?” I ask, looking around. Her décor is pretty spartan except for a green and white comforter decorated with drawings of large tropical leaves. A poster of an amazing pencil drawing of an incredible phoenix hangs above the desk, and there are a few textbooks, but no girly stuffed animals or personal photos. “Your room is as dull as the rest.”
Her Apple MacBook Pro is set up on her desk with a ring light attached. It’s top of the line and sticks out here. “Nice setup.” I tap the ring with my fingertip. “You call home much?”
Her body tenses up. “I’m close with my sister.”
I frown a little because that doesn’t make sense. Charlotte said she barely talks to her family, and judging by the lack of photos, they don’t seem close. “You need to light yourself up just to talk to your sister?” I ask.
She shrugs, shutting the lid. “That was more than I thought I would need.”
“So, why the setup here? Thinking of becoming an influencer?”
She shakes her head. “Just to Zoom my sister. Really, that’s all.”
No one has a setup like that to call their sister. She’s either got a boyfriend back home or something else. Suddenly, I’m not interested in staying.
“Hey, listen. I’ve got to go.”
She stares at me like I’m not making any sense. But I don’t want to hang out. She’s right—we should keep it as friends.
She shrugs. “Okay, thanks for hanging out with me.”
Chapter 18
Charlotte
That was an odd exit. I sit on my bed, staring at the ring light and wondering what he saw that I couldn’t see. There’s nothing on my laptop. I buried the OnlyFriends link in a folder marked Geology of the Eastern United States. Who would look in that folder for anything interesting? I have to put my setup away. Jaxon’s a bit more worldly than the rest of the people in this dorm.
Sitting at my desk, I check my phone, and Wren sent several texts looking for me a while ago. Weeks ago, I promised to hang out with her and her parents. But today, I don’t want to see them or dodge questions about my father. My mind can’t even fake a smile.
I thought I was a strong person because I learned how to tolerate pain at Monarch. Even so, some days I can’t pretend it doesn’t upset me. Ivymore was supposed to be my chance, to be honest, but I can’t do that now. Why do I need to pretend for Wren Thorton? Why can’t I admit that I’m broken and damaged goods? It’s because a part of me always wants to belong. I can’t fall into the void alone.
