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The party winds down around 1:00 a.m., and the stragglers head out, but Jaxon pulls me aside.
“You can stay,” he says.
“What about my friend?” I ask, motioning toward Raine.
He smirks. “You can stay, or leave with her.”
Asshole. I decide to school him by taking off with Raine, but before I can speak to her, she blows me off.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she says, returning my hat. “But he’s my type.”
I glance over at a freshman guy who looks like a throwback from the nineties. Emo calling loud and clear. He’s nailed that costume, if it is a costume. I give her a quick hug goodbye. “You’re into the morbid type. Have fun, but stay safe.”
She winks. “Same to you.”
I save face by putting on my hat and playing it off like I left to reclaim it. The after-party is just a bunch of us sharing weed in the backyard. Theta girls with their Alpha boys, but there’s not a couples vibe as we pass the joint around and listen to a generic folk playlist.
At the moment, I feel at peace with being here at Ivymore. I didn’t expect this to be my college experience, but it is, and I’m good with the change. I feel free of Stonehaven, Rockingham, and my history—a history that I can no longer claim. For once, I feel unburdened by others’ expectations, like this is the real me.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jaxon smiles as he takes the joint out of my fingers. “You look like you’re about to float away.”
I giggle. “Yeah, that sums it up.”
He nuzzles closer, but I’m not that lit as I lift my hand and push his face away. Jaxon backs off. “I called an Uber. Time to go.”
I’m surprised that Asher and Hudson are missing when we get into the car. “Just the two of us?” I ask. “Where are the ringmasters? Aren’t we a matching set?”
“Asher is breaking down his equipment, and Hudson already left for the dorm.”
I don’t dare ask about the girl I saw with Asher. I want to but say nothing and simmer. Jaxon places his arm around my shoulders, and I let him, welcoming the warmth of his body in the chilly back seat. I squirm closer as his strong arms pull me in tight.
“Did you have a good time?” he asks.
I smile and then look around the car. “Where’s your girl for the night?”
He leans in and brushes his lips against my cheek. “I’ve decided to give up my wayward ways. But only if I can get the one I want.”
I should slip out of his grasp, but instead, I slide deeper into it. “And after you get the one you want? Then what? Are you going to try for me?”
He shakes his head, but that ever-present smirk leaves his face. “No, if I had perfection, I’d stop looking for something more.”
“I’m not perfect. Each day, I’m becoming someone I don’t recognize. Someone who is free.”
His lips hover over mine as my eyelids lower. Maybe it’s curiosity that makes me kiss Jaxon, but the heat between us grows. My lips part as his tongue seeks out mine and twines around it. His hands reach for my waist, and a part of me is embarrassed to be making out in the back seat of a stranger’s Toyota, while another part likes the freedom of not giving a fuck.
The car stops short in front of the dorm, signaling for us to get out now. We walk on top of one another back to our dorm. The high spirit of the party lingers around us, and I don’t want the magic of the night to end so soon. When we reach my room, he walks right in and shuts the door behind us.
“You are the sexiest girl on campus,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms.
“Is that my only redeeming attribute?” I whisper as his lips peck mine, taking tiny kisses off me.
“No, you’re more than looks, Charlotte. And I want to mean more to you.”
He pulls me down onto the bed, and his lips touch my neck, working their way back to my lips. I moan as he holds me close in his built arms and squirm as he presses his hard bulge against me. Curiosity gets to me. What is he doing that makes women want him? And suddenly, I want to know, too, as electricity races over my skin. I look into his hazy eyes, and he bites his lip. I kiss him harder as he wiggles his lean body between my legs.
“You know what would be hot?” he whispers. “If you taped us having sex.”
I stiffen, but his hands keep massaging my body. He saw the equipment, so denying it is futile. “I’m not sure.”
