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I stop myself. Asher doesn’t care what I’m wearing or what I have. He never has. Asher only cares that it’s me. He wants me, not a Howland. So I tidy the bed, climb back under the covers, and wait for him.
Asher looks both ways down the hall before he creeps back in the open door. His silliness makes me smile.
“Is anyone around?” I ask.
“Not that I saw,” he replies, climbing in next to me. “It’s like they want us to be alone.” The smile leaves his face and transforms into seriousness. “I’m going to try not to be rough.” Then his eyes gleam naughtily. “You want to be old-fashioned in bed? Then lie on your back.”
“Should I stare at the ceiling?” I quip.
“If you want,” he replies thoughtfully. “But I want to look into your pretty eyes.”
A smile spreads across my face, thinking that’s probably one of the sweetest things he’s said to me. Slipping out from under the covers, I yank off my pajamas off while Asher watches. I should’ve stood up and done it sexily, but I doubt he cares. While I’m struggling, he wiggles around under the comforter. His arm reaches out, and then his shorts hit the floor. I lie naked next to him as he pulls the covers down, exposing his hard cock wrapped in a condom. His cock catches on the covers then bounces, pointing straight toward his navel. Oh my God, I want to cum.
The clumsy playfulness ends as soon as I lie down on the bed after he makes room. The mattress is hot from our body heat as I spread my legs open, and he crawls in between my thighs. His arm muscles flex as he bends over me, and his hand strokes the damp skin between my thighs. My lashes flutter as I moan, waiting for him to cover me with his muscular body. Instead, his fingers explore while he watches me moan louder. And when his finger passes over my swollen clit, I shout like a bolt of electricity passed through it.
Trembling, I’m soaked as I raise up my hips toward his body.
Asher makes me wait and it builds a knot of need, twisting in my belly. Finally, he leans in with a kiss and greedily runs his tongue over mine until they dance. The kiss leaves me dizzy and needy as his finger pushes into my slit, spreading my wetness through my folds, so I can let him in.
“I want you to put it in,” he murmurs near my ear. “I want you to want this.”
I grab his cock and hold the tip against me, lifting my hips until he’s pressed hard against me. I pant in short, bursting breaths when he shoves into me. I bite my lip to stop from crying out. I want him to be rough; I want him to own me; I want him to never stop aching for me. Asher holds on to my hips as he starts a strong rhythm against mine.
My eyes fly open when the resistance stops, and he turns his head to look at me. Can he tell that I’ve never done this before? His eyelids flutter shut, and when he opens his mouth, he moans. He looks at me again with hazy eyes as I push my hips against him, making him go deeper. His mouth presses against my cheek, and I snake my fingers through his thick hair. His deep moves are patient as he pushes and pulls to a steady, silent beat, but it’s driving me wild as I wrap my legs around his waist until there’s no space between us.
He glides into me as I writhe under him. I feel as if I’ve been released as my body is set alight with our shared heat. My hands rest on his hips, and I tug him down as my ankles lock together. Asher pins me to the shaking bed, and the friction makes me whimper as I gyrate against solid weight. Time means nothing, and I don’t care how long we’ve been like this in my tiny room that smells of sex.
My orgasm races up my spine, and I hold him against my chest as I cum. I squeeze my eyes as I groan, never expecting it to be like that. My hand trails along his chest, and when I touch his unshaven chin, he kisses it.
“I wasted time hating you,” he whispers.
Asher grabs my thighs, and there’s no room between us as he slams into me at a crazed pace. I grip onto his shoulders as that feeling starts in my core again. My mind slips away in a daze as I stare at the sweat on his face. Soon, his powerful body tenses, and he cums in the condom with a few powerful thrusts. I keep my legs around his hips and squeeze him until, gasping, his forehead hits the pillow beside my head.
This isn’t how I thought I’d lose my virginity. I always pictured it would happen on my wedding day in a honeymoon suite on an island in the Mediterranean. But I don’t care that it happened this way.
I don’t care because I know I’m in love with him.
Chapter 37
Charlotte
I opt out of Thanksgiving with family at home for the simple reason that I have none. Astrid invited me to Thanksgiving with her in New York City, but it would’ve been crowded, so I begged off. I promised we’d spend time together at Christmas instead. Actually, it isn’t odd remaining in the dorms during Thanksgiving break. There are other people around, so no one thinks it strange. Besides. I have plans.
I put on my warmest clothes, bundling up with so many layers that I can barely put my arms down to my sides, ready to head out into the cold gray day. Helen of Theta invited me to volunteer at St. Christopher’s Church, and magically, the tarnish that had attached itself to me disappeared. I didn’t have to say a word. People now know that I’ve been asked to help, and poof, I’m visible again.
The little bit of vindication doesn’t go to my head. I know who my loyal friends are now. Who will have my back when the shit hits the fan. But I don’t let on that I’m keeping a list. Instead, I’m friendly to Tracey as if she hadn’t blown me off, and I waved goodbye to Prisha when she left for break.
“We could walk there together.” A smiling Tracey stands at my door. “What time are you going?”
“I’m ready to go now,” I spin, modeling my coat before I step out into the hallway.
“Where are you two headed?” Jaxon stands in the hallway, smiling like we’re still friends, and I’m unsure how to play this. He pats my shoulder, and I step away, forcing his hand to slide off my shoulder. That’s a start, and I don’t reply, so Tracey feels the need to answer.
“We’re going to volunteer with the Thetas for Thanksgiving.”
Jaxon’s phony smile lingers on his face. “Hey, I’ll be there with the Alphas.” He glances at me. “I’ll see you both there.”
I start to walk away, with Tracey trailing behind me. She doesn’t dare ask, though she probably knows about everything.
