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I don’t like how this makes me feel, but I push down any emotions for the sake of getting through this with my dignity.
It’s when he bends her over a massage table that I really get worried, which appears to be justified when I watch him take a dildo out of a package and begin to move toward her.
He’s watching me as he drips the lube on it… I’m sure expecting me to react. Even though it tears me up inside, I simply look at the floor in front of me and block out what he does from there.
The longer I kneel here, the more my legs ache and the more my mind stirs around the shit storm I’m allowing to take over. The vibrating sounds become my undoing.
I swallow what little pride I have before I stand to my feet and leave the room. There’s really no need for a ‘safe word’ at this point. I didn’t sign up to be involved in orgies, nor will I ever. It was bad enough to process that this would all be recorded and used for a damn film.
The door to his room slams against the wall when I push through it in a haste to get my bag. I toss it on the bed and unzip it, wadding everything up and tossing it in.
“Camille… what do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m getting the fuck out of here. I didn’t sign up for this shit.” I’m a whirlwind of insanity, even though I’m fighting like hell to contain it all. He seems to have this effect on me.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No I’ll be just fine.” My movements are proof of just how pissed I am. “I refuse to be degraded another second.” He approaches me carefully before he slides his palms down my arms. A move that always seems to slow the chaos just enough for me to hear what he has to say.
“Is that how you feel? Degraded?” His expression is sincere and almost hurt looking as he waits for me to respond.
“Yes.”
“It’s a process… one that we’ve just begun. Your thinking will change if you just give me time to show you everything.”
“Damon… I just can’t share. I can’t stand the way I felt when I saw you back there. I can only assume that’s the beginning of even more fucked up mind games and I can’t handle it.” Tears begin to form and that’s when he takes a deep breath and accepts his defeat.
“Let me take you home. Please. I insist.”
“Fine, but don’t even consider trying to convince me to do this movie shit with you again. I’ll return your money.” I turn quickly to avoid his somber look and zip up my suitcase. I slip on a pair of shorts and a tank top in a rush just before I head straight for the door.
He follows behind me this time. Not sure if he’s giving me space or if he’s picked up that I’m half murderous at this point. My heart beats out of control and the deep sadness, that I always try to avoid is seeping its way back inside me. This is why I really don’t like to be around people. Men specifically.
Joe is waiting with the limo as I approach the walkway making this exit much easier. The ride to my apartment is silent even though the partition is up. Damon sitting next to me, still without a shirt on. He doesn’t attempt to persuade me to come back or understand the logic that is that lifestyle.
Damon exits the limo as soon as Joe stops the car at my apartment. While Joe is gathering my bag, Damon holds out his hand to help me from the backseat. I don’t take his offer of help and instead get out on my own. Call it an expression of independence… but it’s more like I’m afraid to let him touch me out of fear that I’ll fall back into his clutches.
He escorts me to my apartment with my suitcase in hand, without saying a word. I’m getting more curious how this goodbye will go since I don’t plan to allow him in.
Once I unlock and turn the knob, he uses his palm to open the door. I stop in the door way and turn to face him. “I’m sorry I can’t be who you wanted me to be.” His left eye twitches causing me to look down before I continue. “I hope you find…” He lets go of the suitcase and picks me up with one arm, throwing me over his shoulder.
He somehow manages to get my bag inside and close the door before he slides me down his chest and pins me against the back of my door. “You are exactly who I want you to be. Jesus Camille, I can’t stand not touching you.” He grips both of my wrists at my sides. “I can’t fucking stand how hurt you looked back there.” He surrounds my face with both of his palms, forcing me to look at him while he continues to talk. “You do realize everything I did was to test your boundaries. I was watching you in that room… you were the one I could feel when your emotions changed and I instantly handed her the toy.” He’s grinding against me slowly, distracting me from coming up with anything clever to say to him, but knowing he picked up on what I was feeling… and he stopped, means a lot to me.
He leans forward to kiss me and the very second that I let him he picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. We continue to kiss while he carries me to my bedroom.
He lays me down on the bed and crawls over me, holding himself up so that his face is even with mine. “I want you, Camille. But I won’t go any further if this isn’t something you want as well.”
I nod yes and slide my finger nails across his back to pull him down on me. Hell yes I want him like this. This man may have just put me through insanity, but I’ve always found him sexually attractive. I’ve been craving him… internally begging him to lay me down and fuck me.
He’s straddling me one second and flipping us over the next so that I’m on top of him. He doesn’t waste any time stripping my tank top over my head and wrapping his arms around my torso, kissing my neck softly. He falls back, taking me with him and kissing me more passionately than I’ve ever been kissed before.
Everything is slow and precise, unlike what I expected him to be like in bed. He takes his time kissing me all over, making me feel special.
He rolls us over again until I’m on my back and then slides off the bed to take off his pants. He yanks my shorts from my hips before he crawls between my legs and starts kissing my stomach, inching lower as he continues.
I shift my hips toward him as he gets closer, taking in how his facial hair feels tickling my sensitive skin. His tongue feels amazing, but it’s the soft groan he makes when he’s down there that gets to me.
He slides over me, moving so that his cock is at my entrance while he uses one hand to roll a condom on. In a swift movement, he enters me, taking me up the sheets a little further with every thrust of his hips.
