AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My eyes graze his, and I try to think of the best way to get him to leave. Harris may need to be my out on this.
“Everyone else okay?” Looking at Harris, I begin to ignore Kaleb. Or at least it appears that way. My body knows he’s here, and no matter how hard I try to disregard him, I can't. He's under my skin and that makes a very bad recipe for disaster as I'm preparing to spend some time at home.
“All good. A few were banged up a bit there at the end, but nothing a little rest can't handle. It seems they're all excited to get the orders to head home to the States.”
“That sounds amazing.” It's been two years since I've seen most of my family in person. I know they miss me, and in a way I'm ready to be home, but I've left a piece of me behind in that desert. A piece I'm hoping like hell I’ll be able to cope with losing.
I continue to keep my issues hidden from the guys. I'm dying inside. I want to cry and scream from the top of my lungs for what I've done, but given the situation again, I'd do the same damn thing. I’d have to. He was aiming directly at my Commander. My job is to protect my team, no matter who I have to take out to do that.
I force myself to set it all to the back of my mind. There's plenty of time for me to deal with that in the days to come.
“You headed back home to Florida?” Harris’ hand on my leg pulls me from my thoughts. I'm due to have six months leave until I'm scheduled to return, but honestly, I don't know how long I have. I've signed up to return at any given point I'm needed. It's why I pushed myself so hard all these years to be the best I can be. I'm in the elite group of snipers they call on, and I'm willing to do what it takes to remain there.
“For a little while anyway. I may try to find some place secluded and take some vacation time.” The thought of seeing my family trying to strap down my thoughts has me very much wanting to ask for a phone, to hear their voice.
Kaleb moves to sit down. I ignore the pull that I feel when he transfers his sexy body into the chair. He was a great fuck. He was an outstanding leader, who assembled the perfect team to successfully pull off this mission, but that's where he ends with me. His barbaric ways of trying to control me have to come to a stop.
The door opens again, and I see JJ’s concerned face relax as he sees me. “I'm finally cleared.” The guys act like we’ve been here for days. The very thought of that has me curious as to just exactly how long I was out for.
“How long have we been here?”
“It's been twenty-four hours.” Harris surprises me with his response. How in the hell was I out that long?
JJ moves in closer and bumps my fist in a greeting. They've shifted forward and stare at me as they both talk. Harris begins to smile at me, and I wait for his teasing to begin once again.
“Don't mind Elliot, she's been fuckin sleeping for days.”
“Yeah, well, she scared the shit out of me out there.” JJ stands at the foot of my bed and glances toward Kaleb.
“I'm fine. Just a graze.” These guys will annoy the crap out of me if they keep this shit up.
“It's that precise shooting of yours that saved a few of them from having a bullet up their asses.” He's right. I look down at the sheets as they continue to talk about it in a general way, never giving a single detail of where we’ve been or what we’ve done. There aren't any ears in this room that weren't there, but the orders were to be silent once we’re done, so that's what I'll do.
I'll return to my hometown and just like always, I won't tell a single soul that I've killed many men and even a few women in my time away; but this time I'll also be keeping the death of a child deep inside. I've been through sensitivity training to prepare me for the psychological burdens of shit like this, but the hell burning in me right now as I try to pretend to be completely fine is taking over.
I lay my head back on the pillow and use my good arm to hold my aching forehead. “Can I get some rest, guys? My head is killing me.” I shouldn't need the rest. It's more of the fact that I just want to be alone. I need to think.
Both Harris and JJ nod at me before they assure me they'll be here until I get the clear to leave. I'm the last one, so I'll need to get my shit together if I'm ever going to want some peace and quiet. They'll go stir crazy and make me insane if I’m here for too long.
Kaleb doesn't move. He has no intention of leaving, and I begin to wonder how exactly I’m going to handle that. He's fucking stubborn. I've only known him for a few days, but the one thing I know about him is, he doesn't give in. When he wants something, he gets it, and fuck any of the consequences.
“Can you let me rest?” I try to get him to leave and get the weight of his stare off my chest, but of course he doesn't budge.
“Yes, please rest.” He’s still not moving.
“I think you should leave.” I work myself up to let those words escape. I want to cry and have a motherfucking moment where I can actually deal with what I've done, and he's being difficult.
“I'm not leaving you, Jade.” He moves his chair closer and grabs my hand. I both hate it and love it. I want to be alone, but I want to be with someone who understands the shit I've done. I can't think with him this close, and the chaos is taking over my head.
“Please, just let me be alone.” I can't hold back the tears any longer. “Please, Kaleb. Please go.” I roll to the shoulder opposite of him and let the tears run into the pillow. I feel him moving away before I hear the latch on the door. His footsteps return just before he slides behind me on the bed.
He wraps his giant arm over mine and pulls me into his body. His face settles against my cheek, and I listen as he speaks to me.
“Jade. I'm not leaving you, because I know you're hurting. You saved my fucking life out there, and I know it's eating you alive. You can't talk about it, so you won't, but I refuse to let it kill the beautiful Jade inside I'm fucking dying to get to know in person. I'm staying with you. I'm going home with you, and I'm fucking making you stay the goddamned night with me because you owe me a night even though I owe you for saving my life. You will not let this eat you alive. You will accept the brutality of this nightmare as doing what you had to do to save your team, and you will move forward from this mission to do great shit. I know you will, because I'm never wrong.” His arm tightens and the weight of his face against my cheek becomes heavier as he relaxes against me. The tears don't stop falling, and I let him hold me, because frankly, it feels good being in his arms when I'm hurting. I feel like in this moment, I’m safe from all the nightmares and danger this fucked-up job causes.
KALEB
I can't stand knowing I've let this happen to her. I should've seen the kid. I should've pulled the fucking trigger and spared her from this, but I didn't. I know she’ll come back from being this trigger-shy when it comes to the same scenario. I’ve seen it before. Soldiers often lock up after something like this. She needs to know she did not do this. The fucked-up nation training babies to kill did this.
