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“Those must be some killer pain pills. You were out and you snore.” They must be. I still wonder how I went from Harris to him. Kaleb chuckles as hestretches his arms over his head,those tattoos pulling taut when his muscles flex in his upper arms. Right now, I don’t care how I shifted my body in my sleep. He’s a distraction. One I’m not sure if I want to eat off of, or choke on.
Shit. I would love to finally get a close-up of every one of those tattoos. I wonder if he’ll ever tell me the meaning behind them. And don’t even let me forget about those damn abs. His thin t-shirt doesn’t leave a damn thing to the imagination, not that my mind will let me forget them. They’re hard, defined, and bulging through his t-shirt, and I can still feel the ripple on my fingertips from when I was sprawled across him like a desperate magnet.
In spite of sleeping for the most part of the flight, I’m still exhausted. All I want to do is go home, take a long, hot shower and sleep for days. Then wake up and figure out what in the hell I’m going to do with my time off. I need a distraction, anything to help me keep my troubled mind off of that boy.
“He’s right, you do snore. Loud.” My head swings around to Harris.
“What the fuck ever. Like the two of you don’t.” I roll my eyes at him.
“I will the minute I hit my bed, that’s for damn sure.” JJ leans forward, stretching. He looks worse than I feel, which says a lot, because I feel like shit.
“Won’t we all.” Harris looks at me, then to Kaleb. The way he glares at Kaleb has a red flag instantly waving in my face. Something happened while I was sleeping, I can feel it. The tension between these two has hardened. Damn them. I’m not in the mood for whatever kind of bullshit these two have going on between them, and if Kaleb said anything about what happened between the two of us, he’ll wish to god I didn’t save his ass, because I will kill him myself. Even though it will be a long time before I even think about having sex with another man, there could never be anything between the two of us. We’re entirely different.
I’m not a prude, that’s blatantly obvious by the way I let him fuck me in every hole he could, but we aren’t even on the same page when it comes to sex. The cheeks of my ass clench together when I think of the way he roughly took what he wanted, his demanding ways making me submit to him. God, I’d be lying if I didn’t love every minute of it. The way he touched me, fucked me like he could never get enough.
I need to get the hell away from him and have some me time. I could hit the clubs with my girlfriend Mallory. Anything to make me forget him. It’s been way too long since I’ve done something for myself, but when the Army is your life and you’ve done nothing but train for the past few years to set goals to fulfill your dreams, going out is the last thing on your mind. I haven’t had time to myself in I don’t know how long.
“Let’s get out of here.” Kaleb extends his hand out to me as soon as the airplane comes to a stop. He helps me stand, and I stretch more, holding my sore arm tight against me. The pain has faltered some, leaving me with a slight discomfort, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. The pain pills will help. I drop his hand the minute I step out into the aisle, making him frown.
“Just go,” my cranky ass tells him. I watch him and chastise my stupid hormones the entire way off the plane, all the way down the hallway. Stupid woman. Why did you taste the forbidden? He’s ruined you for a long time.
“You’re riding with me.” He grabs my hand again like we’re a damn couple as we walk through the airport after saying goodbye to JJ and Harris.
Harris seemed distant, his hug brief, no smart-ass comment like he usually drops either.
“What happened between you and Harris, Kaleb?” I jerk my hand from his when we exit the door. The sweet smell of Florida hits my senses immediately. The tang of the salty air has me breathing it in. I’m home. American soil has never felt so good.
“I’ll tell you when we get to my Jeep.” I can’t help but laugh, don’t ask me why. I never gave a thought as to what kind of vehicle he might drive. Hell, I never thought about anything except the way he fucked me and the way he made me feel. A part of me wants to know everything I can about him, while the rational part of me knows I shouldn’t.
“God, your laugh is beautiful.” He stares down at me. For the first time since I met him, I feel my skin blush. It’s strange being able to hear those words from him, knowing he can speak his mind now without having to hide anything. I’m at a loss for words.
“Thank you,” I reply politely and feel extremely uncomfortable. This is so unlike me. I know I need a ride to the base to get my evaluation done and tell my superior officer what happened to me. I’ll need to fill him in on how well Kaleb guided us through our mission, like the great leader he is.
It’s a half-hour drive, and I’m worried about spending that much time with Kaleb. I’m afraid of the things he’ll say. He made it perfectly clear in the hospital that he wants to explore what he thinks we have once we return home, and now that we have, I wish I would have told him I wasn’t riding with him. I know damn well both Harris and JJ would have taken me.
I follow him across the street into the parking garage, keeping my eyes off of his tempting ass and the strong muscles across his back. He’s mouthwatering. He’s dangerous, and if I don’t stay the hell away from him, he could destroy me. All he wants from me is a fuck. With the kind of man he is, I could easily fall for him. I may be strong, a soldier trained to harden both her inner and outer shell, but there isn’t any amount of training that can guard my heart. He would break me. Shatter me. I can’t have that. Especially with everything going on right now.
“Nice,” I say when we stroll up to a white older model Jeep. “This is my girl. 1979 CJ5. My parents bought it for me when I was sixteen. I love this thing.” He pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocks my door before tossing our bags in the back.
“I like it, it’s you.” He turns toward me, crossing his arms over his massive chest. His gaze turns instantly dark. “Is that a compliment, Jade?” I study him. My mind is so foggy and the effects of the pain pill have to be lingering still; there is no way the woman that I am wouldn’t have a smartass comeback waiting to snap back.
“Kaleb. I merely said it’s you. Which means it’s manly. Nothing more.” His lips twitch. Why is this so strange?
“You’re a shit liar, Jade. There’s more. There will always be more. This wall you’ve suddenly built around yourself will not stop me. You know damn well I have the sources to blow that wall to shreds, to make it shatter. I have no clue what’s running through that gorgeous head of yours, but we will be talking. You will listen and most importantly, Jade, you will become mine.” He’s speaking to me as if he’s still my Commander, and I don’t like it at all. Finally, I feel Jade swim to the surface, plunging her way through the murky waters and ready to show her true self.
“You don’t own me. No one does. No one ever will. And if I decide I want to be in a relationship, it sure as hell won’t be with a man like you.” I’m so angry right now. I go to move past him, but he reaches out to draw me close to him. He wraps his arms around my waist carefully. I sigh out of frustration. This arrogant bastard will not listen to a word I say, and it’s pissing me the fuck off. All he had to say was I will become his and the fog lifted from within my head. Like I’m something that can be owned.
“I don’t want to own you. I want you to be yourself. To see you smile, laugh like you did back there when I told you I drove a Jeep. I want to surprise you with shit like that. To turn your world upside down, to drive you insanely mad with desire. Then turn around and fill that desire with everything I’ve got to please you. I know you can’t get this shit through your thick skull, but goddamn it, Jade. How many times do I have to tell you that it’s more than sex? I want us to get to know each other. Jesus Christ, what the hell are you hiding from?” I stand stoic. His words shock me to the middle of my chest. How can I tell him I have no idea what I’m afraid of when I don’t even know myself? Maybe it’s the way whatever this is between us started off. I knew the man for five minutes before I had his dick slamming into my pussy, making me want to yell out like a crazy woman.
Then it hits me, my brainwaves working overtime. I’m a slut. I let a man fuck me every way he could without knowing a damn thing about him. Without giving a second thought to the way I would feel about myself when we returned home. He knows everything about me, and I don’t know a damn thing about him, except for the little bit he told me. How can he stand here and not see me this way? Not see me as the slut I am? I feel tears pricking my eyes and I hate it. I hate the woman who has returned home. When I left here trained and prepared, I never thought I would come back broken and weak. This isn’t me at all.
I pull away from him somehow and try to find some sort of strength to speak.
“Kaleb, I’m not hiding from anything. I’m scared. With everything that’s happened between us and then I shot that child. I can’t think straight.” My hands fly up to my head, squeezing the sides as the pounding headache travels from the back of my head around to the front.
“Come on then. I won’t push you anymore about us for right now, but I won’t give up, so you’ll have to deal with it eventually. I want you. What I will push you on, Jade, is that you talk to someone about what happened out there. I can’t help you with that. You may be pissed off, but I’m recommending that you do. Now let’s go get this over with so I can take you home.” He pushes himself off from the Jeep and extends his hand out to me to guide me up and in. All I can think about as I watch him walk around the front, climb in, stick the keys in the ignition, and crank his so-called baby on, is going home.
Our drive is relatively quiet. The raspy voice of Jimi Hendrix lulls me to relax in the seat. Although my brain won’t shut up, the dread of telling my superior what he already knows has my head throbbing worse than it did. Kaleb is right. I need to talk to someone. A neutral person. I may be screwed up over what I’ve done. However, I’m not oblivious to the fact I could use some help. I know good and well it will be recommended to me. I sigh heavily. I want nothing more than to be myself. God, after this mission and the things I’ve done, I don’t even know who I am anymore.
