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“Emma… put her on the phone.”
“She can hear you. Say what you need to say because when this call is over, we are turning the car around.”
“Baby. I’ve been trying to get back to you. I’ve needed some time to get it all right and I’m definitely not there yet. Are you really pregnant?”
I nod my head and manage a “mhmm” that sounds pathetic. “Why haven’t you called?”
“I’m sorry, I’ve been going through some horrendous shit and I didn’t want to put you through it. You deserve the man who left your bed that night.”
“You are that man.”
“No, baby. Things have changed.”
“I don’t care. I want to see you.”
“I’ll have to learn how to walk again. We had a big wreck that sent a few of us to the grave and even more are in the same boat as I am… or even worse. My legs and hips were broken in multiple places. I’ve had to have numerous surgeries and I’m still a few away from being able to really get into the rehab that will help me walk again.”
I want to ask him why he didn’t feel like he could tell me but I already know the real answer is that his pride wouldn’t allow it.
“What can I do to help?” I take the phone from Emma’s hand and sit back in my seat to talk to him.
“You can go back home and give me time to come to you.” I close my eyes and let his words really sink in. My heart hurts just thinking about leaving him but I know I need to give him this space.
“Only if you promise not to shut me completely out. I want to talk to you every day.”
“Deal. God, I’ve fucking missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too. You can’t ever do this to me again. I’ve literally been sick since the day we heard about the big wreck. No one would tell us anything. You weren’t on the list of those who died but I let my mind get the best of me. I was so afraid you were dead.”
“More of us should’ve been. It’s been terrible. I can hear the screams and replay the damn thing in my nightmares every night.”
“I’m sorry you’ve been going through all of that by yourself.” I want to be there for him but I know me leaving is what he needs, so I whisper for Emma to turn the car around. I watch the old man on the motorcycle follow us until we’ve left town.
Slade talks to me on Emma’s phone for hours. We finally stop at a hotel for the night and I make him call me on my phone so I can fall asleep with him on the phone.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mother.” I whisper to Slade when Emma goes to take her shower.
“You’ll be a great mom. You should be more worried about me becoming a father. I haven’t had the best role models for the job.”
“I think that’s why you’ll be a great one. You know what not to do. You understand people and would never treat your child the way your father treated you.” I yawn at the end of that sentence and he hears me.
“You should go to sleep now.”
“I don’t want to stop talking to you. I thought you were gone forever.”
“I know, Baby. But I’m still here.”
“Can you promise to never ghost me again. It’s giving me a damn complex.”
“Promise.”
EPILOGUE
HADLEE
It’s been eight months since the accident. Four months of me spending hours upon hours on the phone with Slade every single day. He bought a house here that has an open floor plan and I’ve been making sure all of the modifications are done for him before he arrives. I’ve also been working on a nursery for our little boy that will be here in less than three weeks. The plan is to live here until the baby is born and Slade is fully rehabilitated. Then we will have to see where life and his responsibilities with the club takes us.
I’m nervous and giddy about him arriving today. Emma is here helping me make sure everything is perfect. She plans to stay here for a few months so she can help with Slade and the baby. We both welcomed her offer and accepted it quickly.
The doorbell rings and I race to open it. Slade stands in the doorway with two men to his sides, guiding him as takes slow purposeful steps through the door. I have to remind myself not to leap into his arms and kiss him like I want to. There will be a day for all of that. Today is not the day.
He reaches for me and I move to him slowly to be embraced in the tightest hug I’ve ever felt. His scars don’t surprise me because we’ve been doing video chats for a while now. He finally let me in on everything he’s been going through and I’ve kept him involved in every aspect of the pregnancy. The good and the bad. He even sent me food when I was craving the crazy things and talked to me when I couldn’t get comfortable in bed at night. He had the crib and baby furniture delivered and had someone put everything together. Emma has been to every doctor’s appointment I’ve had, so I haven’t been alone for any of it.
He starts to step toward the kitchen and for the first time I get to see him vulnerable up close and personal. He’s allowed me to see some of it on the chats but never for very long. Now I get to watch him gain his strength back and he will get to do the same with me once our baby is born.
Life will be tough for a while until we get adjusted to our new normal but I’m ecstatic about what my future holds with Slade and our little family.
