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I just know that something has changed or something isabout tochange. I feel it. She feels it. And tonight confirmed it.
It’s not a change in her or me or Dean, but a change inus.
Twenty-Four
Briar
21 years old
You have to talk to him.
Caleb’s words have been echoing in my ears since he uttered them. I know he’s right, but I can’t bring myself to have that conversation with Sean.
It’s been almost a month since that first night at Caleb’s house. Nearly every night since he’s snuck me into his bedroom after his family has gone to sleep.
I know it’s wrong. No matter how terrible Sean can be, he doesn’t deserve this.
And neither does Caleb.
But I can’t bring myself to do what needs to be done. Once I tell Sean it’s over between us, he’ll know. He already had his suspicions about Caleb even before anything happened.
Now, if I break up with him and start dating Caleb, he’s going to wreak havoc on us both. Sean doesn’t take things lightly. He won’t handle this well.
To him, we’ve made a fool of him. Someone bested him. I chose someone else.
All of this will drive him mad. I keep telling myself that I can keep things going like this. If I stay with Sean, Caleb will be better off.
Of course, I can’t put off sex with my boyfriend without it raising suspicion. But every time Sean touches me now, a small part of me dies. And I worry it kills Caleb a little bit every time, too.
Walking across campus with Sean’s arm around my shoulder, I paste a smile on my face and try to pretend as if everything is normal. As we reach the humanities building, I search for Caleb among the crowd moving to and from the main doorway.
Sean is going on and on about the football game this weekend. Everyone has been talking lately about how good Caleb’s game has been. Even Sean can’t shut up about it. And as the guy on the field who catches most of his passes, you’d think he’d be ecstatic about that, but I can feel the bitterness in his tone.
“You listening to me, babe?” he mutters next to me.
I blink and glance up at him. “Of course. You said you should make the finals.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?” He presses his lips to the side of my head, and I resist the urge to pull away.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I assure myself that it’s better for Caleb if Sean never finds out. I can’t tell him. Iwon’ttell him.
But I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
Something in my chest warms as I spot Caleb walking toward us. Just seeing him now makes me feel safe. Like everything is going to be okay.
And I know it’s terrible, but I can hardly wait until tonight when I know I’ll find myself on his front porch again, silently sneaking into his bed just to be back in his arms.
Sean is still going on and on as we reach Caleb, but rather than stop and speak with him, Sean bumps into Caleb, knocking him hard against his shoulder without looking back or apologizing.
My jaw drops and I try to look back at Caleb, but Sean jerks me forward, forcing me to stay on the path to the building.
I can’t ignore the very bad feeling in my stomach when we reach the classroom.
Maybe he didn’t see him. It could have been an accident. But deep down, I know the truth.
That wasn’t an accident at all. Sean’s suspicions have turned serious.
When he leans down and presses his lips to mine, he kisses me harder than he normally does, knowing that Caleb is now in the hallway. He makes him watch.
