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His voice ripped through me, tethering my soul to his like claws that couldn’t quite unlatch. I pushed myself away from that wall and onto him, letting him lift me in his arms, making me forget.
I kissed him like a punishment, wicked and rough and harsh. I wanted him to know how terrified I had been. I wanted him to know how much he hurt me.
“The darkness,” I mumbled between kisses as he carried me to his shower. “Is what Narcissa said true? Do you feel it overpowering you?”
Alek’s kiss did not falter, did not weaken, even as he absorbed my words with his lips, caressed my body with his hands in the wickedly disastrous way he always did.
But something changed.
I could feel it hovering above the skin on my arms, above the back of my neck.
“Lyra,” he breathed, setting me on the bathroom counter and trailing his lips down my jawline. “I am the darkness.”
In that moment, I chose to let go. Chose to ignore the swarm of questions in my mind, the all-too-recent memory of what existed on the other side of that veil, the chaos of Narcissa’s truths and Alek’s disappearance.
I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I didn’t want the truth to hurt me.
So instead, I took Alek’s words for what they were.
I pushed them aside.
And I let him heal me with his lips.
Alek’s hands slid up my thighs while he kissed my neck, sucking lightly before returning his mouth to mine. I held onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist and locking him to me, too selfish to let go. Too needy to ever lose him again.
My teeth clashed against his in our desperate fight to get closer, to feel each other.
Alek was the darkness; he was right about that. I had felt it the very first time I met him, and it thrilled me that someone so ruinous could make my heart feel so whole.
If Alek was the darkness, I would open my heart to him if only to show him some light.
His mouth against mine confirmed he was here, he was mine. No matter how messy things got, no matter what happened on the other side of that veil, he was here.
We were together.
And I knew damn well I wasn’t strong enough to push him away.
CHAPTER 15
Alek
The look in Lyra’s eyes was the most devastating thing I had ever witnessed.
Where were you? she had asked.
As if I could tell her the truth.
I wanted to, believe me, I did. Lying to Lyra was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But I knew the truth would hurt her even worse than the lies, than the changes in conversation and the subtle disappearances in the night.
Of course, she noticed. She noticed when I wasn’t around, when I came home late and left early.
Lyra was a smart girl, the smartest I had ever met. Why the hell would I think I could get away with this?
I would get it under control. I knew I would.
Lyra drifted to sleep beside me, her breathing slowing with every passing second. I enjoyed watching her sleep; I always had. There was something so pure about it, so vulnerable.
If she knew how much of a monster I really was, she would never let herself lay naked beside me.
