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Cody: Do you love him?
I drag in a deep breath.
Me: Yes. A lot.
There’s no response. He doesn’t read my message. No little dots show up. Nothing happens. Minutes go by, and then an hour. I lay back on the pillow and stare at Clive. Maybe I should wake him up, tell him what happened. I already feel like I’ve done something wrong.
I scoot up from the bed and hang my feet off the edge, dragging in a deep breath.
“Hey.” Clive’s voice is groggy behind me as he says, “you’re not running off on me, are you?”
I turn back and crash into his arms as tears roll down my cheek. “Cody is messaging me. I told him I love you. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry!”
Clive leans forward and brushes my tears clean. “You love me?”
I nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for that. Not ever. Understood?”
Humming out a reply is all I can manage between tears.
“I’ll call him. You stay here and rest.”
I draw in a staggered breath and agree, though I feel horrid. The last thing I’d ever want to do is cause trouble between them.
Clive is gone for what seems like forever. I’ve counted one hundred and sixty-two floor tiles, sixteen pods of coffee, and ninety-nine lights on buildings surrounding ours when the door clicks open.
“All set.” He climbs back into bed as though he’s just negotiated a deal with the cable company, not told his son he’s in love with his ex-girlfriend.
“Okay,” I climb up onto my knees and look toward him, “what happened? Is he okay? Are you okay?”
Clive smiles and reaches out for me. “We’re all okay. He’s not happy, but we didn’t expect him to be. He needed to hear how this progressed and get confirmation that nothing was going on while you both were together.” He runs his hand over his beard as he says, “It’s going to take time for all this to sink in. The good thing is, we’re not hiding. I love you, you love me, and the rest will work itself out.” His calm is what I need. It’s what I’ve always needed. And while things might be complicated for a while, I know we’ll find a way to make things work.
I snuggle back into his arms and close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his big, rough frame. People say love is complicated, but that’s a lie.
It’s not the love that’s difficult. That part is easy. It’s letting other people in that’s hard. It’s knowing that the love you have for someone might ruin another person’s life.
How is that possible? I don’t want to ruin anyone’s life. I just want to love who I love. I just want to be happy.
Maybe that’s the selfish part.
My phone buzzes and I jump to stare at the screen.
Cody: This is weird. Really fucking weird, but he sounds happy. He hasn’t sounded like that… ever. Don’t make any stepmom jokes and we’ll be okay.
My heart swells and I roll toward Clive to show him the screen, but he’s already fast asleep. I guess he really did know everything would work out in the end.
Epilogue
Clive
One Year Later
“I have cloth diapers, wipes, a bottle of baby powder, a shower-seat thing, a swing, a crib, little towels, a—”
“Sit down.” Lark reaches out for me. “We have everything. If we’re missing something, we’ll go get it.”
“I want you both to have everything you need.” Anxiety has been in my throat since she found out about the pregnancy. It’s not because I’m not excited. I’m more excited than ever. I’ve never had this before. A relationship. A woman to raise a baby with. Getting to watch Lark become a mother will be one of the greatest things I ever experience in my life.
