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Surprisingly, he doesn’t argue. “I know.” He comes to lean against the countertop beside me. He’s quiet, briefly, and then continues. “I know that all of this is crazy and kind of wild. I know that any smart woman would say fuck it and leave me and honestly, if I was outside looking in, I would say the same. Leave me. I’m a fucking mess. And this shit with Holly? Even messier. But I swear to you, Olivia: I meant every word I said when I told the world I loved you.”
His declaration is as sincere as that day three months ago. It’s hard to think that it’s all a front. I don’t want to believe that he’s such a good liar that even this is continuing the grift.
Biting my lip, I look up at him. “Jeremy and Priscilla are kids of a friend of my mom’s,” I explain to him. “She sprang a lunch on me that I thought was just going to be the two of us. Turns out, she’d set up this whole, like… FBI-level sting operation to get me into an interview with them. I told them I wasn’t looking for a new job but she must have convinced them to keep me in mind. That’s what that was about today.”
His brows furrow. “You… weren’t trying to leave?”
“I said that I was sticking around for Violet,” I remind me.
“But not for me, too.”
I draw in a breath. Why is this so hard? “It’s impossible to not include you in this, Reese,” I protest. “I love you. I’m also hurt and confused. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. So I’m trying to make the best choice for myself and my life. Just… give me some time. Please?”
A stricken look crosses his face. I know that what he probably wanted was everything going back to the way it was before all this happened. But time isn’t something you can just rewind like it’s a clock. It keeps on going no matter what we want out of it.
To my surprise, he draws in a breath. “Alright,” he says. “But I’m never going to stop trying to show you I’m not the guy Holly says I am. I swear, even if it fucking kills me.”
13
OLIVIA
So I slept with Reese again.
It’s the first message that I send out to Quinn, after I knock out a shower and settle down in the guest room. I can’t keep this to myself and I’m sure as shit not going to tell my mother about it. I can’t speak to her until I know that I won’t blow up on her. I know Mama means well, but that’s crossing a line.
Luckily, Quinn’s reply comes in quick enough I don’t have to agonize over my mother’s interference for long.
QUINN: ???
QUINN: DETAILS. NOW.
OLIVIA: There are no details really. He came home after being out. Pretty sure he was at a bar or something.
OLIVIA: Mom set me up on this job interview I didn’t know about and somehow it got back to him. We started arguing.
OLIVIA: One thing led to another.
I realize a little too late how lame that sounds. What kind of half-assed excuse is that?
Quinn is typing…
QUINN: SO OU’R JST
QUINN:TAKIN HI M BA
QUINN: CK!?
QUINN: Sorry, fat fingers. Anyway, YOU’RE TAKING HIM BACK?!
I roll my eyes. Even through text, Quinn can be one of the most dramatic people in the world. She really missed out on being an actress, that much is certain.
OLIVIA: I told him that I needed time to think things through. That it was all confusing.
QUINN: And he just accepted that after dipping his fingers in the cookie jar AGAIN?
OLIVIA: Gross.
OLIVIA: I’m just trying to figure things out. What do I do, Quinn?
