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I’m fuming. Nostrils flared. My anger has returned tenfold. The “pissed-off knob” has been cranked up to eleven and then just snapped off for good measure.
“You didn’t bother to consider how I would feel about you hiding these things from me, Reese. You made decisions all on your own, without me. And you think that all of that would keep me from worrying? Genius. I’m flabbergasted. And you know what? Honestly, it worked. I’m long past worried now. Now, I’m just pissed the hell off!”
I turn away from him and start storming toward the stairs. Reese’s steps follow me and I round on him.
Through my tears, he’s duplicated into three, four, five different versions of him. I’d punch every damn one of those Reeses in the face if I could.
“Leave me alone!” I shout at him. “Just stay the hell away from me!”
For once, he actually listens.
I leave him at the bottom of the stairs and sprint upward toward the guest room. My chest tightens further as I pass by the nursery and catch sight of Violet’s empty crib.
Out of everything he’s done, separating the two of us hurts the most. There’s a hole in my heart where she should be.
I slam the door behind me and throw the lock home, not wanting Reese to get some silly idea about coming in here with me and trying to make amends in whatever ridiculous way he might be dreaming of. No, I need to be left to my anger and frustration. Alone.
I bury my face in the pillows and start to sob.
37
OLIVIA
I wake up at an ungodly hour. It’s still dim outside, just the barest hint of orange sun glow in the distance. I slept like shit. Wild dreams with Holly’s face swirling and jumping out at me again and again.
Holly’s face on a spider’s body.
Holly’s face on a swarm of a thousand bees, chasing me down hallways that just got longer and longer as I ran down them.
Needless to say, I tossed and turned. I don’t think I slept more than two hours straight through for the whole night. Now, though, as tired as I am, more sleep is not gonna happen, so I sleep out of bed and trek across the room in the semi-darkness. When I fumble with the doorknob, I’m momentarily confused.
Oh, right. I locked it.
Grumbling, I unlock it and peek out. The hallway is dark and empty. No Holly Bees, though, so that’s at least one tiny sliver of good news.
Grimacing, I trod to the bathroom. Pregnancy bladder is no joke. I spend what seems like an eternity peeing and, when I’m done and my hands are washed, I go downstairs.
Reese isn’t awake yet. For that, I’m grateful. I don’t want to see him yet. The anger is still pulsing in my veins, throbbing and pounding in my temples and at the back of my neck. I’m mad. I’m madder than I’ve ever been in my whole damn life. Madder than I was when Jess Harrison fired me, even, and I didn’t even know that there was a level beyond that.
Mostly, though, I’m hurt.
I thought we were in this together. We’re going to be bringing a whole life into the world—but all Reese is doing is going off on his own without me.
I don’t know if this is something that can be fixed. If he can’t trust me enough to be able to handle things that involve me, then where does that leave us?
Perpetual limbo, that’s where.
Nowhere pleasant, that’s where.
“I need caffeine.”
As much as I hate to admit it, being back here does offer me a bit of comfort. After two weeks in that damn cabin, then cramming myself in with Mama, being able to be in my own kitchen, making coffee that I actually like, feels like I’ve gone from being a pauper to a princess again.
I don’t bother being quiet. The petty part of me persists, hoping that it disturbs Reese and his morning sleep. It’d serve him right.
As the scent of brewing coffee fills my senses, I decide to make a light breakfast. I pull out some frozen sausages, eggs, and bread for toast. Just enough for myself, of course. If Reese wants to do everything himself, he can cook for himself, too.
The petty is strong with me this morning.
