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I say it as firmly as I can, aloud and resolute. Shit might hit the fan, but I’ll think of something when that time arrives. I can do damage control if I know that there’s a storm coming a hell of a lot better than I can if I go in blind. That’s the thing that Olivia doesn’t get.
And the other thing: that I can’t do any of that without her.
I press my mouth to hers. “I’m not letting you go,” I say between kisses. “You’re going to stay here with me. With Violet.”
I can’t let her go.
I won’t.
I’d rather rip out my own heart and put it on the table, beating for her. And if push comes to shove… I will.
53
OLIVIA
Reese lifts me up. His arms are steel bands around my waist, threatening to squeeze the breath right out of my lungs, but I don’t give a shit; I kiss him back and let him take it all from me.
You said you were mine.
His words echo in my head as he takes me from the office and carries me up to his room. I don’t protest, because I don’t want to leave any more than he wants me gone. It’s selfish, I know that, to want him as badly as I do now.
So this will have to be the last time. I know somewhere deep down, he thinks he can fix this, but there’s no fixing something that’s already been broken and scattered and burnt and destroyed. It’s the lesson that Reese hasn’t learned all the way yet: when it comes to something possibly hurting that little girl in the other room, it doesn’t matter how he or I feel. What matters is we make the choice that’s best for her.
And right now, the best choice is the choice that keeps the mess of my life away from them.
Reese and I only have tonight. I don’t want to let him go, which is why I tear at my clothes as eagerly as he does when he tosses me onto his bed. I need to be naked. His bare body pressed to me one last time to remind me that…
I think I love him.
The words are on my tongue as he pushes into me. I cling to him in every sense of the word. I want to tell him how I feel, but I know that’ll only make it harder than it already is.
“You’re mine, Olivia,” he pants out, driving into me. I whimper, pleasure and grief mingling together in a cacophony my body can barely handle. My nails rake down his back, and I know I leave welts by the way he bucks into me harder in response to the pain and pleasure of my nails bleeding him.
“You aren’t going anywhere. I’ll lock you up if I have to. I’ll keep you here where you belong.”
He’s so fervent. Almost manic. I roll us, putting myself on top to ride him. He grips my hips in a hold like he’s trying to keep me prisoner and I know that his words are true. He’d turn this house into a fortress just for me. Just to not have to let me go before he’s ready.
I ride him harder. I take every inch of him inside me. I commit the way he fits there to memory.
How hot he makes my insides.
How I’ve never felt so much cascading pleasure with anyone else.
We come at the same time. Me, on top, thighs shaking. Him, below, his head tossed back and his muscles tight as his orgasm tears through his body. We’re sweaty, slick with the juices of our own pleasure mingling hot between my thighs, and it takes a long time to be able to inhale again.
When I can, I lie down with him, my head on his chest and his cock still inside me.
Reese falls asleep like this, but I don’t. When his snores fill the room, I slip off him. I have to stick to my guns. No matter how much his bed calls to me, begging to stay because this is where I belong, I do what I’ve always done and take responsibility where no one else will.
I trek quietly to my room, not wanting to wake Reese up. I don’t think I have it in me to look him in the eyes after this, confirming that I am in fact, not staying and am no longer his. At least not in the way that he wants.
I go to my room for the last time, gathering up the bags full of my things that I packed before Reese had even gotten home.
There’s one last stop I have to make. It’s perhaps even harder than leaving Reese.
Violet slept through our last argument, our last fuck, and she remains sleeping now. She’s such a peaceful little girl, now that she has some stability. Pride stabs me like a double-edged sword. I was the person who helped give her that stability and I’m now the person that is going to be taking it all away from her.
Isn’t that something? Isn’t that a crime? Isn’t that a sin? Isn’t that the worst thing I’ve ever done?
