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Just keep going. I shove my body along the ground, ignoring the sharp pain in my knees. Don’t stop moving.
Staying still is guaranteed death. I guess I must have some kind of survival instinct in there somewhere. Thank God. I can get through any blaze, even if it’s stinging my skin, seriously hurting me in every single way. That’s how I can somehow keep on breathing even though the smoke is killing me, trying to stop me from getting even the slightest of oxygen. I think about all of the people in my life that will be disappointed if I go, if I die. There might not be many, but they will be sad. My parents, for one. I can see now that my life might be coming to an end, they were only over bearing because they care so much about me and want the best for my life. I bet I hurt them so much when I left like that. And it isn’t like I have kept in touch a lot. I’m really bad at that, with being busy all the time. And Delia as well. She will be weeping at my funeral as well. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. And Theo…
I mean, not Theo really because he doesn’t know me and we just kind of fell in to bed together, but still… I wonder what he will think of all this. I’m sure that he will be mostly annoyed that I died in a fire, what with him being a fire fighter and everything. If I knew where my cell phone was, I could call him. I could ask him to save me.
Stairs. I take a tumble down the first few, but for some reason I don’t feel it. Maybe my body is so full of pain that it can’t feel anything anymore. I’m numb, being held together by the fibers of smoke. But stairs aren’t necessarily a bad thing as long as I don’t tumble and fall all the way down. Stairs will take me further away from him and closer to the exit. I can’t think where the main door is from the stairs, I have my head everywhere, all buildings that I have ever been inside are merging together, but it’s a step closer. It’ll take me to freedom as long as I slip down them slowly, under the bright orange and yellow flickering of the flames, under the billowing black smoke. It’s tense, I can hear every weak beat of my pathetic heart which is doing its best to keep me alive, but finding it very hard…
Shit, noises clamp my stomach tight. It’s him, Mr. Jones, it has to be. He’s the only other person in the building with me. He planned this, he’s super human, somehow able to work his way through the flames, he has a fire suit or something. He isn’t struggling like me. He’s going to get me and hold me down in the flames, make me breathe it all in, cause me to burn and fry. Mr. Jones wants me dead and he will stop at nothing. Revenge for not being who he wants me to be, murder for his company, for the rejection, for not giving him everything that he wants.
I want to keep on going, I really do, but something has paralyzed me. Maybe it’s the fear, the knowledge that he is coming for me, that he wants to kill me and there isn’t really much that I can do to stop him. I might be giving up without meaning to, I might be losing my will to survive after all. I have fought my last breath…
Theo. He’s like an angel above me, a vision come to life right in front of my very eyes. I must be dead, or at the very least dying. And he is the last face that I’m going to see. Rather him than Mr. Jones, I suppose. I reach upwards to touch his cheek, to feel his beautiful face one last time but unfortunately I can’t get to him through his mask. This is supposed to be my imagination, a little comfort at the end of my life, and I can’t even touch Theo. If that doesn’t express the sadness of my life in one dumb ass moment, then I don’t know what does.
Theo. I want to say his name aloud but my mouth is too thick and clogged up. I can only think his name over and over again like it’s a prayer. The only thing keeping me alive. Theo… Theo… oh, my hot, sweet Theo…
I’m raised up from the ground, lifted like I weigh nothing, my spirit leaving my body at long last. I never thought much about death before but I don’t think I ever would have assumed that it’s like this. This is magical, it feels heroic, like I am the princess, the damsel in distress being rescued by the hero. There is something about it which makes me happy. Happier than I have been in a very long time and I’m sure that’s because of Theo.
