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“Yes. It’s a gala that I host every year and give a speech. It’s for abuse victims and survivors. We raise enough money to donate and help them. It’s been my birthday tradition for the past decade.” It felt different revealing this side of myself to her. There’s so much I want her to know, but so much she can’t know, not yet. Not until I’ve guaranteed she won’t run when she does find out.
“Dillon… That’s a really good cause, especially given… well, you know what,” she said and sighed. I wish I could change everything wrong in her past, but I could only try to make her future a thousand times better. “But I’m proud of you for doing that. Not many people care, but I’m proud of you. I’d love to be your date, but I’ll maybe be the worst dressed. My wardrobe is limited.”
I’ve heard many words in my life and I’ve been told just as many things, but hearing the words ‘I’m proud of you,’ especially coming from her, hit home. It sank into my soul, almost as if it’s etched on my brain. “I’m proud of you.”
“There’s going to be a stylist at your apartment for 4:30, and I know that look. Yes, you can invite Abigail, but make sure she doesn’t provoke me.”
“I will. Thank you.” She ran over, gave me a kiss, and left the office. It’s been a great birthday so far, but I need this cleaned up. I’m running a business organization, not a party shop.
“Ms. Julet, can you get my office cleaned, please?” I pressed the button dialing her quarters.
I had a short meeting with a benefactor, and then my day had ended, but I had one stop to make, and I wanted to do it with Azzaria. We left the building at our usual times and headed to separate exits.
Entering the car, neither of us said a word, but we were comfortable. The silence was enjoyable as she rested her hand on my shoulder, and my palms took residence on her thigh.
“Are you sure about this, D?” Mikkel asked, looking through the rearview mirror. I knew why he asked me that question, and I didn’t have a solid answer to give, but we were already this far.
“Yes.” My grip on her thigh tightened, not to hurt her but because of my nerves. Talking about this wasn’t the easiest, but it was only fair that I met her halfway. Azzaria sat looking confused but didn’t make a sound. She trusted me, and now I had to prove to her that I trusted her. This was a long time coming, and so much has changed in three months. I moved from being fearful of this disease to now bending every single rule and moral I’ve ever had for one girl. I didn’t see this coming, but the best things always creep up on me.
As my eyes landed upon the post-modern structure in front of me, I felt unease, discomfort, and displacement, but being with her made it all better. I already took her here once, but the circumstances were different. She made it easier to face this, and on that note, we exited the car.
I grabbed her hands in mine, and we walked to the front door. A place that once gave me so much warmth, love, and comfort was now a place that gave me tension, anxiety, and night terrors. “I think we’ve been here before,” she said and started looking around, “This is your old house, right?”
“This property was given to me as a gift from my grandmother. She knew I loved real estate and housing, so my first gift from her was a house. I remember the vivid moments where she’d take me up here with grandpa and Mara.” It felt good being nostalgic, and I was maybe even a little sad. Not a day passed by where I don’t miss them.
“Baby,” she whispered. It wasn’t all the time she called me that, but whenever she did, it felt electric. “Let’s walk, even though we have about an hour, and I don’t know the route,” she said, her cheeks high and red from the laughter she laid out.
I was captivated. Too captivated.
I brought her to the old maple tree Mara and I used to play and I started telling her about how our parents didn’t care much for us and that’s how we became extremely close with our grandparents.
“Your grandparents sound lovely. This sounds like an entire dream. I’m happy you got that.”
I chuckled and nodded my head. “Definitely. They were, until they weren’t, but we can’t get into that today. My grandparents died, and it was a tradition for Mara and me to come here and do activities until I met Annalise.” I winced at her name. The nasty memories flooded, but this was a form of closure I wanted and needed.
“That’s your ex-wife,” her tone was plain, which only meant that she was jealous.
“Yes, but don’t worry about getting jealous,” I pointed out as we stopped by the picket fence.
“Annalise and I hit it off. We had fun, but back then, I was very different. Gullible, naive, easily led, but I wasn’t dumb. Her sister, Camilla, and I had a sexual relationship. When my grandparents died, I became the worst version of myself. I lost all care for everyone except Annalise, so I chose her. She proposed, and it was pressuring, so I said yes. Two weeks later, we got married and moved here. She fucked me up so badly. For the first month of our marriage, I hated her. For five years, I hated her. I was married to a woman who completely ruined me. I filed for a divorce, and she ruined the house. I came here today to ask you what I should do with this house?” God, it felt like a knife piercing my heart.
The memories came flooding back, flooding my brain, and my skin paled. All the abuse and maltreatment I faced in that marriage was nowhere near okay. But I endured it, with hope she would change.
Azzaria’s eyes watered, and I’m sure she was touched and hurt by the situation, but it hurt me to see her cry.
“I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Anytime I see that woman, it’s on sight.” She giggled a bit at the last part and wrapped her hands around my lower body. “I think you should rebuild it and then start fresh with someone who deserves that space in your heart. It’s a bold statement to make, and I know it’s hard for you to trust people’s intentions, but it’s worth it. Don’t let one nasty soul ruin the thousand memories of a great place,” she said and concluded.
The only sad part was that she was yet to realize the only person I wanted to build it over with is her.
“You’re leaving me soon, and therefore—” she shot me a ‘what are you talking about?’ look, and I was confused too for a moment, but then I realized. “I meant the internship. The company. Anyway, I have a real estate and contracting company. I want your final month to be dedicated to that. I know I told you to work with them for a week, but I want you to work for your final month here.”
“You want me to draw the plan to rebuild the house?”
“No. It’s your project. Do what you want with the space. There’s no budget. Make it brand new. You did two years of interior and exterior designing, and you can do architectural plans. So can Abigail; isn’t that what she studied?” The look she shot me gave me all the confirmation I needed. “Exactly. Do it for me.”
“This is a lot, but I’ll do it for you, and thanks for taking me here. I hope we get to talk more about you, your family, and your past. Now, let’s go before I’m late for your gala.”
I didn’t bother responding; instead, we walked down to the car in silence and headed back into the city. It felt great talking about that and even better that it was with her.
