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“Camilla is a long-time friend, from when my grandparents were alive. Do she and I have history? Yes, but that’s all it is. She made her move, and I made it clear that I was with you and that I want you. And to answer your question, of course, I want you. All I ever want is you. These past months have been fucking hell. Everything I do reflects you, and it’s maddening. I am sorry for not telling you about the tabloid, and for the impression it gave, but don’t ever question whether I want you or not.”
“I get it,” I said, my small arms around his torso, “it just makes me uncomfortable.”
“You want her gone?” He asked, petting my hair. I nodded softly in response, just resting on his chest. “Then I’ll have her gone, precious. I’ll do anything for you, and I’m so sorry.”
We pulled apart from the hug, staring each other in the eyes. “I’ll let you get back to work,” I said to him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I am.” I wasn’t.
“Okay, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Oh, he better. He kissed me senselessly, and I walked out the door to use the bathroom.
I got back to my desk and peeked into Dillon’s office. He was busy on a call, so I just decided to check my phone.
Mom
Azzaria. Call me now.
The last time she texted me like this, she told me of a very violent incident with my father. I could only imagine the devastating news I was gonna get.
There were tons of other messages from Abigail and even Doctor Green. My level of concern immediately rose— what the fuck was happening?
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hello, Janey.” The only times my mother used the pet name “Janey” was if she was buttering me up to tell her something or if something had gone terribly wrong. “How are you?”
“Mom, what happened?”
“The police called me. Matthew’s in town. I’m so, so—” Everything stopped.
My heart stopped beating.
My lungs stopped receiving air, and the only thing that started was the tears flowing down my face.
My feet went numb, and my heart ached. I’ve never quivered so badly at the mention of anyone, but I knew the damage he could do. I knew what he was capable of, and that scared me. Matthew ruined me in ways and I couldn’t explain and everytime I move from it, he comes back.
My mom continued talking, but I didn’t hear anything. My brain was on a pause, a shocker, and suddenly, I was reliving everything that happened. All the dirty names he called me, and most importantly, that stupid tape. God.
“Mom, I’ll call you later.”
As I hung up the phone with her, it vibrated, and I saw that Abigail left me a message. She didn’t expect me to respond or call her with any form of urgency; she just wanted me to know she was there, and that’s all I could ask for.
Abigail-Ann
my flight just booked. I’ll be with you within the next two days or less. I love you, Azzaria. You’re my best friend, and nothing will happen to you, I promise.
Reading it, my mind flashed back to five and a half years ago.
Our relationship wasn’t the best one, but it wasn’t so bad. Matthew’s an okay boyfriend, but maybe if I had done a better job at pleasing him, he would’ve liked me more. That’s something he always tells me anyway. Today was our anniversary, and I was very excited about it.
“Hey,” he said, greeting me with a kiss, “You look hot.”
“Thank you.”
“Let’s have some fun,” he said with a smirk. I wasn’t in the mood to have sex; my body didn’t even feel like it’s ready for all that—not while I’m this sick.
I sighed and started walking out of his sight. I hated telling him “no,” especially because I had the most grand idea of how odd he would start behaving. To him, “no” didn’t mean “no.” He’d never take it for an answer, but I prayed that tonight would be very different.
