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“Lou is in looove!”
“Lou and Ciaran sitting in a tree!”
“Well, that escalated quickly,” Eliza muses. “He went from unable to look you in the eye to eye-fucking you in front of your sisters with no restraint whatsoever.”
I beam, waggling my brows at her. “Oh, there was restraint. Trust me.”
Clara giggles happily as she sits in my desk chair, propping her feet up. “I think he’s dreamy.”
Elliot leans against the desk. “For real. I think you two will be married before Austen and Dimitri.”
I roll my eyes, and Eliza asks, “Did you tell him about New Beginnings?”
I instantly tense. Damn it, I loathe those two words. I don’t usually call the cult that I came from by its name. I hate the title because it wasn’t a New Beginning but rather one of the nine circles of hell.
“Is that why you were crying?”
I sometimes hate how well my sister knows me. “Somewhat. I didn’t get into the nitty-gritty details.”
Elliot looks away, and Eliza grimaces. My baby sister is the only one brave enough to ask, “Did you tell him about Peter?”
Hearing my ex’s name makes my stomach twist with fear.
Eliza glares at our baby sister. “Clara, why would you even give his name life? Come on.”
Elliot smacks her. “Exactly. Gosh.”
Clara quickly becomes guilt-ridden and looks down at her feet. “Sorry, Lou.”
I wave her off and turn to climb the ladder. “No, I haven’t.” I feel them watching me, and they don’t need to ask for me to know what they’re wondering. I shrug. “He is nothing. He doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged. Especially to someone I care so much for.”
I’m met with silence as I fuss with the books, making sure they’re straight and trying to avoid answering my sisters’ questions. I assume the conversation is over, but then it’s Eliza who whispers, “Ciaran would want to know.”
I tense up, my heart hammering in my chest. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It will to him,” she says softly, and I hadn’t realized she’d moved until she grasps my ankle. I look down at her, and she gives me a tentative smile. Gone is the teasing, replaced by fear and hatred of what we’ve been through. “He seems like the kind of guy who wants to know anything and everything about you.”
I don’t acknowledge her comment or even respond, because I know she’s right.
And I hate when she’s right.
CHAPTER 36
Ciaran
My relationship with Cruz may be a bit toxic, with the back-and-forth we do, but I knew when I called him, he’d be there for me. I’ve been driving around for hours, trying to clear my head and find my balls to call Mikayla. Each time I try, I’m reminded how much I hate the sound of her voice, and I don’t go through with it. I need to. I can’t go back without doing so. It’s not fair to Louisa. It’s not fair to my mom to deal with my crazy ex, and it’s sure as hell not fair that I have to call her at all, just to put a stop to all this.
But then my mom always did say that life isn’t fair.
Cruz listens intently as I explain everything, basically word-vomiting all over him. To my surprise, he doesn’t say much or even interject with his own witty comments or an “I told you so,” but then, he knows how serious it is with Mikayla. How serious it is that I am unloading on him.
“Fuck, dude. That’s a lot.”
I nod as I sit in front of the only Chinese restaurant in town. It’s good, and I hope the girls like it. I ordered enough for Louisa and all her sisters, in case they join us. “Only you would fall for the owner’s granddaughter.”
I don’t correct him because I am falling. There is no denying it or even trying to resist. I want everything that Louisa can offer me, on a personal level. “Yeah, I know.”
“But from what you’re saying, I get the feeling she’s going to take care of it. And hell, if she can get you called up, let her.”
