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Why does she sound so pissed off at me? I didn’t do anything. Her emotions must just be running high.
“Want to talk about it?”
She laughs, but it’s a you’re fucking dead pissed-off laugh, not an amused one. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not sure what else there is to say after a forty fucking minute long meeting with the principal about Zane hitting on his science teacher. He asked her if her daddy’s a beaver.”
“Oh, fuck.” I practically yell it, and several of my teammates look at me.
“What could have possibly made you think that was good advice to give to a fifteen-year-old? Or anyone, honestly, but a fifteen-year-old? He has to get moved to a new science class and the principal has to file a special report. I had to explain why I brought a man into my home who taught my son that he should hit on women by asking them if their daddy is a beaver! I could hurt you right now. If you were within five feet of me, I think I might actually punch you in the face.”
She pauses to breathe and I bend down, my elbows on my knees and my free hand on my forehead. This is nothing short of catastrophic. And since I’ve never been in a relationship I actually cared about, I don’t know what to say. Usually, if a woman gets mad at me, I just make a flip comment and move on. But Tess is right—I fucked up. And I don’t want to move on.
“I’m sorry. He asked me for advice about asking a girl out, but I had no idea it was his teacher he was talking about.”
“So it’s okay to ask a fifteen-year-old girl if her daddy’s a beaver? Are you fucking insane?”
I’m so fucked. The most fucked of anyone ever.
“I’m really sorry. No, that isn’t okay. It’s a terrible idea and I’m...an idiot. I’m a massive idiot and I should have been much more thoughtful when he asked for my advice.”
“Don’t be reasonable! I’m so mad at you right now and you’re not getting mad back.”
I sit up straight, wishing I was there with her. She’s sexy when she’s angry. Not that I’d try to put the moves on her right now. I don’t have a death wish. But I want to be there to help her through this, not just be a voice on the other end of the phone.
“I have no right to be mad about anything. I did something stupid and I’m so sorry. Can I come over and talk to Zee about this later?”
“He’s...” She sighs, sounding more weary than angry now. “I don’t know what he is. He’s embarrassed. Maybe he needs some time. He’s suspended from school for two days.”
“Fuck. Can I call the principal and explain that this is completely my fault? I’ll do it right now.”
“No, but thanks for offering. The principal was actually very sympathetic, but she said the suspension is district policy and there’s no way around it. They’re still letting him do his schoolwork, so it’s just two days at home.”
“I still want to talk to him and explain that I gave him dumbass advice and this is all on me.”
She scoffs lightly. “I mean, I won’t deny you the chance to say it was dumbass advice.”
“Thank you. I’ll bring over Chinese carryout for everyone. Just text me the orders. I will obviously be eating nothing but humble pie for the next three years at least.”
Tess blows out a breath. “I’m still mad, but I won’t punch you in the face.”
“You are a goddess.”
She laughs. “Stop putting me in a better mood. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay. Send me the orders.”
When I end the call and stand up, half my team is standing there looking at me with expectant expressions.
“What the fuck? Haven’t you guys ever heard of not eavesdropping?”
“Fuck no,” Ford says. “When we hear you say you’re an idiot who got in trouble with the principal, we’re not going anywhere. So what’d you do?”
I shake my head and shove my phone in my pocket. “None of your business.”
“Dude, no,” Beau says. “You tell us when you didn’t wipe your ass well enough and have shit in your underwear, so you need to tell us this.”
It’s true. I’ve always been the most open of books. When I got my nipple stuck in an elevator door, it took me, like, a month to stop talking about it.
“I gave Tess’s son some bad advice, okay?” I snap. “Someone text Ben and tell him. He’ll be thrilled because he thinks I’m too much of a screwup to be dating a single mom.”
