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Elio Titone is hugging me. And not only am I letting him, I’m nuzzling my head against his shoulder as if this is something I want, as if he’s someone I care about. As if anything about this makes sense. Something is changing between us, and it scares the hell out of me.
I need to backtrack. To get back to the place where hating him was simple and easy and safe. I need to not think about the things we share, about the things we’ve both lost, about what he went through when he was fourteen and what I went through when I was ten. We both have pieces missing, and I can’t accept that their sharp and broken edges might just match up perfectly.
So, I try to remind myself about who he is, who I am, and what he’s done. I need to remind myself that he’s a tyrant who doesn’t care about my feelings or my freedom. I ask the one thing of him I know he’ll refuse me, and that refusal will push me away from him again, back to where I can be angry and safe.
“My classes start tomorrow. I want to go,” I say. My pulse speeds up in anticipation of him saying no. I’m already feeling the thrill of the rage that will flow through me, knowing it will send me right out of his arms. Arms that feel way too warm and solid around me.
“Fine.”
I freeze, shocked into stone-stillness. Did I just hallucinate? There’s absolutely no way...
“What did you just-”
“I said that’s fine.”
I lift my head from his shoulder so I can stare at him. I must look as confused as I feel, because he shrugs and says, “I told you I’d give you whatever you need to perform to the best of your ability. If that means attending classes, so be it.”
I want to push him on this, to question him, but I also don’t want to give him a chance to change his mind. I can taste that little bit of freedom already and I won’t let it disappear.
“What about my job?” I ask, wondering if he’ll give me even more if I request it now. “Teaching at the music school.”
Elio quirks a dark brow.
“You already have a job. One that pays infinitely more.”
“Yes, but-”
“You aren’t returning to that job. All your income will be provided by me. Besides, Maeve’s is in the heart of Darragh’s territory. Going there isn’t safe for you now.”
He’s right. Maeve literally rents her building from Darragh. There’s no way I can go there now. I think about my students and want to cry. I have seven students right now taking private lessons, ranging in ages from six to twelve. I love all of them, even the ones who don’t really care about learning violin and are only there because their parents make them go.
I don’t want to cry. Not now, not like this. There’s something so scarily disarming about Elio holding me like this, and I feel like I’m going to break right open. I finally pull out of his grip, getting to my feet and hiking my panties and pyjama pants back up.
Elio just watches me with those dark predator eyes. As I turn and head for the other bedroom, his voice follows me.
“Get some rest, Songbird. You have school tomorrow.”
Chapter 30
Deirdre
When I wake up I still have no reply from Willow. I do, however, have a text and a missed call from Brian. For a split second, I actually consider telling Brian about Elio. Not so Brian can rescue me, but so that he leaves me alone. There’s something satisfying about the thought of telling Brian that if he keeps trying to get me back he’ll probably end up at the bottom of a lake.
And then my stomach clenches with nausea, because what the hell kind of a thought is that? Having anyone’s death on my conscience would destroy me and I know it. And why on earth am I thinking about Elio as my protector in this situation?
I push all of it out of my mind, getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom. Rosa must come in while I’m in the shower, because when I emerge there’s a breakfast tray waiting for me and the bed has been stripped and remade. I eat quickly and drink some tea before getting dressed for the day. My hands practically shake as I pull on a pair of jeans and a sweater. I can’t believe how excited I am just to go to school. What was once a mundane, everyday occurrence is now a shining beacon of hope and light. It’s something, something from my old life. Something from the outside world I can hang onto.
After getting dressed I have a second cup of tea, then I start pacing the room. My classes today don’t start until 11:30 and it’s not even 10am yet. I consider lying about when my classes start just to get out of here now, but then I remember that Elio told me he’s memorized my school schedule, so that plan goes out the window.
But I need to do something to pass the time. I have way too much anxious energy to sit around here. My eyes fall on the paper and envelopes Valentina brought me to write to Willow, and suddenly I know what to do. I grab the paper and a pen and start to write letters to each of my students. Saying goodbye, telling them how much I’ll miss them, how much potential they have. I have no idea if Valentina will agree to send them, but at least it’s something.
By the time I’m finished writing the seven letters, I have to pee desperately. I was on the verge of tears the entire time I was writing, and to stave off a sobbing fit I chugged more and more hot tea. I put down the letters and hurry to the bathroom to do my business, then wash my hands. When I return to the bedroom I nearly jump out of my skin because Elio is standing there.
“Holy… When did you get here?” I ask, gawking at him. Even over the sound of the tap running, I feel like I should have heard him. He’s so damn big. He has no right to be as silent as he is.
“You didn’t come down, so I came up to get you. Don’t want to be late to your first class of the term.”
“You… came up to get me?” I echo.
