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“Oh, God. He isn’t bothering my professors, is he? Or the other students?”
What if he’s interrogating people, or intimidating them? Honestly, even the possibility that he’s mildly inconveniencing people because of me makes my chest hum with anxiety. I love going to university, but I like blending into the background as much as possible. I don’t even usually go to office hours because I don’t want to take up my teachers’s time. But now I’m the cause of all this weirdness and upheaval.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” I say with a sigh. I glare at the sun-spangled snow to keep tears from forming. I am so stupid. Why did I think I could just go back to class, go back to that part of my life like nothing had ever happened? Like things were normal?
The fact that nothing will ever be normal again almost knocks me over. Even if I somehow pay my debt to Elio and gain my freedom, my life is beyond shattered. My dad is gone, and I’ll still be enemy number one for Darragh if he can’t find my dad. Even with the warmth of the parka cocooning me, I shiver. The only reason I’m alive right now, the reason I’m warm and wrapped up in this gorgeous coat, is because of Elio. The man who took me, caged me, lords himself over me like I’m his possession. Fury and fear go to war inside me when I consider the fact that I would be completely lost without him. I have no money to run away and start a new life. I have no close friends except Willow who can’t fraternize with me for her own safety.
The sound of the passenger car door opening draws my attention. I swallow hard and look at Elio, holding it open for me like he’s guiding me into a dark, enclosed future. A future he created.
And I walk straight to him. Enter through that door and let him close it behind me.
Because as much as I hate to admit it, Elio Titone is all I have left.
Chapter 31
Elio
“Seatbelt,” I grunt at Deirdre as I slide into the driver’s seat.
“I always wear my seatbelt,” she says crisply, sounding annoyed by my command.
“Then why aren’t you?”
She looks down at herself, confused, as if she doesn’t understand what’s happening.
“Oh. I thought I already did it. Lost in thought, I guess.”
I watch her buckle up, making sure she does it properly, before starting the engine.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I say, putting the car into drive and heading down the long driveway. The soldier at the gatehouse nods at me through the bulletproof glass and opens the gate the leads out onto the street.
“Only a penny,” Deidre says with an ironic sort of laugh. It’s nothing like the real, beautiful laugh I heard inside the house. The laugh that turned me sideways and had me kissing her when I haven’t kissed anyone like that in years.
“Typical man. You’ll pay a fortune for my wet underwear, but only a single coin for what I actually think.”
“It’s just a saying,” I mutter. I keep my left hand on the wheel and use my other to grab a pair of dark sunglasses I keep in the car, sliding them onto my face. I love winter here, love the lung-constricting cold of it, but I cannot fucking stand the flame-like dance of bright sun reflecting on snow.
“Just a saying. So you won’t even pay a penny, then?” she replies tartly. Something’s got her more pissed off than usual, and I wonder what it is. She didn’t seem angry when I was kissing her just moments ago. She seemed disarmed and pliant and quivery in a way that made me want to say fuck school so you can fuck me instead.
“One hundred thousand and one. Dollars,” I clarify when I feel her questioning frown turn to me. Merda, she’s cute in that coat with the fluffy hood framing her face. Like some kind of Irish ice princess. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She sighs, turning away to look out the window. I think she’s going to reject my offer, but my Songbird is smart and she knows she can’t afford to.
“I was thinking about what happens when I pay off my debt. What I’m going to do without…”
She doesn’t finish that sentence. Something lurches inside me.
“Without me, you mean.”
Her silence is all the confirmation I need.
“Are you worried about that?” I ask.
“I’m worried about the fact I don’t have a single friend in the world who can help me when I’m out of here!” she bursts out. “I can’t even rely on my own family!” She tips her head back against the headrest. All I can see of her profile from the corner of my eye is her cute freckly nose.
“You don’t need friends or family. You have me.” Until the end of fucking time.
“But what about after? After the debt is paid and you let me go.”
