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She doesn’t say anything as we step out of the shower into the steamy bathroom. I hand her a large, sumptuous bath towel and stay mute as I tie a towel around my waist and then take another to gently wrap around her hair.
I lead the way back into the other room, where clothing has been discretely laid out for us on a cart just inside the door. Did Remus not lock the door when they came in? Oh well, some servant or other likely got an earful because we were not quiet in the bathroom.
Lo-Ren turns her back to me as she dresses, so I do the same to give her privacy. Not that I will ever forget the sight or feel of her wet, naked body in my arms or how she clenched around me while I was inside her. No, that is not something a man gets over quickly or ever.
I’ve gotten so used to her silence that I’m a little startled when she suddenly speaks. “Are you okay with what just happened? Because god, to wake up to that, and not to have any say in what’s happening— We’re barely even friends, and then you wake up to Remus being intimate with me with your own body. I can’t even imagine what any of this has been like for you or how weird—”
“Not weird at all,” I say, turning back to her as I yank a well-fitted sweater over my head. She’s dressed in a similar dark sweater and shapely, fitted jeans. “I know I haven’t always expressed myself well. But I find you very attractive.”
She frowns and I am frustrated with myself. For famously being a tactician, now that it is my moment with the woman that I’ve begun to long for, I am not finding the words well. “I mean that I like you very much.”
“I know last time we talked, you said you would be content if Remus and I could find a way to make it work. That’s one thing. But this is—” She breaks off, eyes wide. “It feels unfair to you.”
She’s expressed this sentiment before and I shake my head, frustrated she misunderstood me back then because of all I didn’t say. “If there had been any way for me to pursue you myself. . .” I trail off. “I recognized that you were with my brother, but at the same time, I didn’t trust his motives.”
But she’s caught up only on the first part of what I’ve said. “You would have wanted to pursue me?” She sounds shocked.
“I—” I start, then break off, scrubbing a hand down my face. “Were I not attached to a—” I stop myself before saying madman. We’re too far past the name-calling stage now. “Were I not in this unique situation, of course I would.”
I take another step closer and clasp her hands. She looks up at me searchingly, her eyes so deep and glossed with a sheen of tears. All I want to do is swoop down and kiss her. “If I weren’t in this impossible situation.”
She nods, then looks down at our hands. I see her head shake. “The truth is, normally, I wouldn’t even be looking at another man if I was with someone. But this—” She lifts her face to me again. “Neither of you wants to admit it, but you are stuck with each other. And today, for the first time, you were able to communicate. What if this is an amazing opportunity we’re all being presented with?” she asks, her eyes suddenly so full and bright.
I blink at her, a hope I can’t even name taking flame in my chest even as I tell myself I’m the world’s biggest fool to allow it.
But she just continues, unaware of how she could crush me. “What if we could make this work?” She squeezes my hands so tight that I’m tempted to believe anything that comes out of her beautiful mouth. “The three of us? What if that’s why Remus found me after all this time of you two being alone?”
Her sweet hope and optimism are so beautiful and tempting to believe. I want to believe there’s a small possibility she’s right and that the brother I think I know will surprise me with a maturity and depth I never suspected him capable of. Maybe she has been seeing things in him I’ve refused to my whole life out of some kind of jealous spite. Maybe if we could just communicate rather than mutely battling one another for dominance and space in this body. . .
Even as I think about it, I remember my brother is the angel of War. My conscience pricks the next second because that’s not exactly true, either. We both are. And maybe we can never change so long as both of us keep such a combative stance. Surely, if one of us were to give before the other, I’m the logical choice.
Still, I’m not sure I completely believe in the possibility of peace between Remus and me as I pull Lo-Ren to my chest and stroke her wet hair with my fingers. “Maybe so. Maybe so.”
With my other arm, I hold her fiercely. “I just know that any bit of yourself you’d share with me would feel like a miracle.”
Her arms wrap around my waist in return. “We should get some rest,” she says against my chest. “Will you hold me tonight?”
I want to growl in satisfaction at her request, and for a brief rebellious moment, I wish I could meet my brother face to face on a field of battle so I might fight him for her favor like the knights of old. Then I remember, peace, peace, yes, we’re trying out the wild idea of peace.
As I climb into bed and Lo-Ren tucks her warm body against mine, I wonder to what lengths I might go in order to keep her by my side now that I’ve discovered this feeling. It is not a thought that feels especially peaceful.
Chapter Twenty-Six
ROMULUS
As I wake, I realize I’m still me and in charge of our body. I hear a gentle knock at the door and, hurriedly so Lo-Ren won’t wake, unwind her body from mine and lay her on the pillow beside me. She stirs slightly, but then her gentle snores continue. I smile, then hurry toward the door before whoever’s there can knock again.
I quickly glamour myself, then open it to find Abaddon hulking beyond the door. It’s strange to see his usual lion’s face shaped into that of a bearded man’s. At the same time, it’s still recognizably Abaddon.
“Romulus?” Abaddon inquires, eyes narrowed.
I nod.
“Good,” he says. “The gathering’s about to start, and I need my strategist.”
I tug on my shoes, take one last glance over my shoulder at Lo-Ren sleeping peacefully, and follow him out the door. Layden hovers behind him, tapping his foot. “We need to get going. Now.” Hopefully, if the meeting goes quickly enough, I can be back before Lo-Ren even knows I’m gone.
“Kharon’s staying behind to watch over the women,” Abaddon whispers, obviously sensing my anxiety about leaving Lo-Ren alone. I breathe a little easier as I shut the door behind me and follow my brothers down the darkened hallways.
