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That time was just a dream. I’m awake now and know the truth, even if it’s nice to allow this creature in front of me to believe the lie again for a little while. The lie that I’m an innocent creature, capable of good.
I know better now.
“There’s no more meat,” I pronounce because I need to be out of this little house with its cozy, friendly softness and the man with the kind eyes. “I’m going hunting and will be back later.”
Layden half turns over, and I see concern in his eyes. “Is that safe?”
I laugh. “Believe me, I’m the scariest predator in these woods.”
His eyes narrow again, head tilting slightly. I see the question in his eyes and slam out the door before he can ask it.
Half an hour later, I watch the red liquid puddle on the forest floor from the buck I’ve run down and strung up, bowing my head.
Memories of blood are the oldest ones I possess. Before I truly even understood. When the salty metallic bite was all I had to hold onto in the darkness. I clung to it like a desperate, wild thing. Which was all I was.
I gut the buck ruthlessly, wondering if I’m more animal than this majestic being ever was. I yank out its still warm heart, so recently beating, and wonder if I should leave Layden’s side so that I don’t become a curse to him like I have been to everyone else in my life.
I am not good. I am not kind.
Sure, in the dark, shadowed beginnings, I didn’t understand what all the blood would cost. I wanted the warmth. I wanted life more than anything. But what good are excuses?
I look at the buck, eyes dead and lifeless. Instead, I have become this. I toss the heart to the ground and finish gutting the animal and preparing the meat.
I already know that I’ll go back to Layden.
Because I’m as selfish as always. My cold, miserable existence has always felt like a constant punishment for ever dreaming of better.
Yet here I am, still hoping, still dreaming.
Still a fool.
I head back for the cabin, hauling the huge carcass behind me.
Chapter Seven
LAYDEN
Present Day
Phoenix looks down at her phone and makes a girlish noise of delight. “I texted, and Professor Rossi has time for us!”
“Shouldn’t he always have time if Vlad bought him for you?” I growl under my breath, eyes flicking all around at the other students flooding out of the lecture hall. I don’t know how she can be so excited about this guy shedding light on what we’ve fought so hard to keep secret.
We always knew the conspiracy theorists would have a field day with the footage of the Devourers that covered the media outlets and internet sites for about six hours straight last month before my brother Remus blasted them out of existence. Governments denied it all as a hoax, but much as I wish they were, people aren’t stupid.
Most of the conspiracy nuts are going on and on about secret government weapons and the like, and frankly, I’m shocked that Phoenix is encouraging anything that, while it might not be the absolute truth, is near enough.
“Don’t ever say that to me,” Phoenix spins on me, furious. “I don’t let Vlad buy anyone for me. That’s disgusting. I allowed him to offer an incentivizing package to teach here, but I never expected that to equal special treatment or consideration. I’m just like any other student and will get by on my intellectual and academic merits alone.”
Dammit, I really stepped in that one, didn’t I? “Look, Phoenix, I didn’t mean—” I hold up a hand, but she bats it away, rolls her eyes, and mutters, “Never mind. I don’t expect you to treat this seriously.”
She strides away from me. I easily keep up. “No, Phoenix, I do.”
I reach for her arm, then think better of it and pull back. But at least she stops. I can control my hunger to touch her. I can. I lean in, and for once, we’re in a mostly shadowed alcove where there aren’t a lot of other students around.
“I just don’t understand why you’re so concerned with what this guy thinks. I mean, sure, he’s got his theories, but you know what happened.”
“Do I?” she fires back.
