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“How?” Layden asks, sounding just as confused as me.
“By asking,” Sabra says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
I feel my eyebrows hit my hairline. “Asking? As in, asking the spirits who exist in that plane? Holy shit, Sab, have you gone insane?”
All her happy vibes disappear at my question, and I immediately want to eat my words.
“I’m sorry, Sab, I didn’t mean to say it that way.”
“I’m not crazy,” she bites out.
I wince. “I know you’re not. It’s just… What you’re talking about sounds really dangerous. All the spellwork and circles we’ve done in the past… I thought we always agreed we’d never take it as far as talking to spirits from other realms.”
She glares at me. “As if you’re one to talk.”
Ouch. Shots fired. Still, I’m not ready to back down on this.
“You know what happened to your mom.”
“I’m not going to accidentally get myself possessed. We’ve learned so much more since then. She taught me better. She taught me how to be safe.”
I just stare at her. Then why did she end up in the insane asylum? I want to ask but don’t. Yes, Vlad had her locked away there, but Sabra visited her every week. She saw what her mother’s attempts to push the limits of the arcane had done to her. She barely even recognized Sabra most weeks.
“Look, if this isn’t safe, we don’t have to try again,” Layden says, hands up as if wanting to temper the sudden tension between Sabra and me. “After all, there’s the Internet. I can be happy here.”
“It’s fine,” Sabra says at the same time I say, “Maybe that’s a good idea.”
Sabra glares at me. “Why would you say that? You can’t just keep him here as a toy. People aren’t supposed to be trapped here for you to play with because you’re lonely and bored.”
My mouth drops open. Is that why she thought Vlad kept her here with me all those years? Then I look to the ground. Was it why Vlad kept her here? I always assumed it was because of her magic. Because he enslaved everyone in her family. But he’d never made any of the others live in his compound. They’d had lives outside.
It was only Sabra he kept locked under his roof. Controlled and never allowed to know anything else besides these walls. Never allowed to have any other friends besides me.
Sabra looks at Layden. “We’ll try again. Let me do some studying, but I think I might have an idea of what was off with my calculations. I need to look at some star charts and go back to Mom’s grimoires.”
It starts to rain, big fat drops washing away all the chalk-work Sabra did. I reach out and pull her into a hug. “We haven’t really talked since I got back. Maybe we can go out for coffee soon.”
She nods as she pulls away, some of the bounce coming back into her voice. “I’d like that.”
My tight chest loosens a little.
“Okay, I’m getting really hungry.” Sabra looks apologetically at Layden. He immediately backs away from her.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. Just time to call it for the day,” Sabra says. “I’ll call you soon when I know more.”
“Of course, whatever you need, please don’t make yourself uncomfortable on my account,” Layden backs away even further. “I appreciate you trying to help me. I can’t express how much. I didn’t know strangers could want to help one another until I met Phoenix.”
Sabra looks at him, then at me, then glances back and forth at us again. “Uh-huh,” is all she says, then smiles and turns away. “Bye,” she calls over her shoulder with a perky wave before bouncing away toward where she’s parked in the large garage in the left corner of the compound.
“I like her,” Layden says.
It’s stupid to feel jealous at his simple statement. But I can’t help feeling the sting of Sabra’s words, too. Is that what I’m doing? Keeping him here so I can fantasize about him and have him nearby because of how safe he makes me feel? Like I would a comforting blanket or a toy?
Are you going to be a selfish little girl?
I always have been, though, haven’t I? Freeing my parents from me was the one unselfish act of my life.
