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“Here you go.” He smiled as he returned with two wineglasses.
She took one. “Thank you.”
“To us and Zoe.” He lifted his glass in a toast gesture, and the instant she parroted his words and clicked her glass against his, tears came to her eyes.
“Oh.” He wrapped an arm around her and guided her to the couch. “I can’t imagine how horrible this all is for you.”
She set down her glass, not even having taken a sip yet, knowing she wouldn’t be able to swallow it. He sat beside her and took her hand.
“I can’t do this,” she blurted out. Some tears fell, and she quickly palmed her cheeks as if by swiping them away they’d never happened in the first place.
“It’s okay. Let it out.”
She let the tears fall, as if his permission was what she needed.
He put his glass down to pull her into a hug, but she pulled back. “What is it?” The three words were saturated with pain and suspicion as he regarded her with a face contorted in confusion.
“I need to tell you something.” Her voice cracked. It was tempting to pass the crying off as relating to Katherine. He’d probably even believe her because he had faith in her. She sobbed and covered her mouth. Love shouldn’t hurt this badly and neither should honesty, but she owed that much to Logan.
He didn’t say a word, held the space in silence. His handsome face, his deep soulful eyes.
“I did something really stupid,” she eventually managed to push out.
Logan stayed motionless, swallowed roughly, his Adam’s apple jutting out. Still silent.
“It will never happen again. It didn’t mean anything.” She wasn’t sure if he caught the underlying hypocrisy. Her words coiled in her gut as an outright lie. Her kissing Trent had meant something. Her feelings for him were real even if they weren’t practical, no matter how much she wanted to fight against them. Would fight against them. They weren’t meant to be a couple. She and Logan were, and they were good together.
“What did you do?” He stood, facing her, demanding a confession.
Will he understand? Will he forgive me?
“Amanda, talk to me. Right now.” His firm voice had her trembling, not because she feared he’d hurt her, but the opposite. He was prepared to take a blow.
She pinched her eyes shut for a second, took a deep breath, opened them. “I kissed Trent?—”
“Oh, Amanda.” Logan gasped, raking a hand through his hair and turning as if he were going to leave but his feet remained planted.
“It didn’t mean anything.” And there is my default fallback position… If she repeated it enough times, maybe she’d accept her claim.
“Why did you do it? And what are we talking about here? A quick peck? Tongue? A make-out session? When did this— God, Amanda. You know what? I don’t care. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” He shuffled toward the door.
She hopped up from the couch to stop him. She pulled on his arm, and he glowered at her. Fresh, hot tears spattered her cheeks.
“Please don’t go. We need to talk. Zoe,” she blurted out and realized her error when he leveled a cold glare at her.
“Don’t bring her into this.” He pushed his feet into his shoes and snatched his coat and was out the door.
As his truck rumbled in the drive, Amanda sank against the back of the door and lowered to the floor. Logan had been a gift, and she’d found a way to screw it up.
SIXTY-THREE
8:30 AM, THURSDAY
Missing for 3 days, 3 hours, 40 minutes
Amanda’s head was pounding when she walked into Central the next morning. Logan hadn’t returned home all night, and she ended up emptying that wine bottle. As someone who didn’t typically drink much, she was paying the price.
She dropped at her desk and rummaged through her drawers in search of ibuprofen.
