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He resumes trying to dress himself. He’s silent for a time, and I soon join him in getting dressed. Without one another’s body heat and the adrenaline of our tryst pumping, it turns out the desert is kind of cold at night.
“Sarah’s and my relationship wasn’t built on intimacy, no,” Jack says, finally collecting his thoughts enough to give me an answer. “But we did have a common goal. And I don’t want to ruin it. We can’t do this again, Lily. I need to stay on the right path for all of this, and as much as it pains me to do so, we gotta keep this between ourselves and keep ourselves under control, going forward. Promise me.”
Just like him, I take my time in responding as I dress. “All right. Sure. I promise.”
“Thank you. And I’m so damn sorry about all of this.”
We dress, we mount our horses, and we head back toward the ranch house.
The promise we had made to one another wasn’t one that was going to be kept. He knew it. I knew it. But what’s another lie on top of all of the others if it makes us feel better about ourselves?
5
JACK
It’s been a rough as hell day and I feel utterly exhausted. Lots of running around, lots of horses being more confrontational, lots of trying to avoid Lily and the truth of everything.
I get the last horse back in and finally get the gate closed.
Not seeing her but knowing she’s there torments me. My mind keeps flashing back to the utter beauty of Lily. Seeing her body, hearing her moans, the way she smiles, the way she giggles. I can’t get the girl out of my mind no matter how hard I try. I had hoped work would give me solace from my intrusive thoughts, but there’s no such luck.
Just Lily and all of the joy, and then the reminder of how I had betrayed Sarah and everything I’d been working so hard for to happen.
“You all right there, boss?” one of my other wranglers pipes up. “You look pretty rough.”
“I’m fine, Reggie. Just a lot on my mind.”
“About work?”
“About a lot of things. Thanks for your concern.”
Reggie smiles. “All right. Say, what’s your employee fraternization policy?”
“My what? Oh. Do whatever you want, I’m not going to control your private lives. I’m not going to get involved unless there’s a problem.”
“So, I was thinking of asking that fine piece of ass Lily out to the bar...”
“Lily?” I say, glaring at him, my fists balling. “Don’t talk about her like that.”
He laughs again. “What? It’s what she is.”
“She’s a fellow employee. Not a piece of meat.”
“Why, you got something for her, boss?” The grin he has on his face tells me that he knows something.
How? I trust Lily to not spill the beans. And I certainly said nothing. Unless...
I shudder in place, feeling embarrassment for myself and for Lily. The echoes of the night, and that some of my employees do linger into the twilight. Did they hear us? Was it that obvious?
“I’m thinking maybe I'll ask her up to the cliffside. I think she’d really like that,” Reggie continues, not knowing when to shut up.
Rage takes over, and I grab him by the collar. “If you saw something, if you heard something. You didn’t. Leave the girl alone, and never mention this, or you’re going to be looking for another job real soon.”
“All right, all right, chill,” he says, as I let him down.
I take a deep breath. He probably didn’t mean it as blackmail or even to be mean about it. It was teasing me, just like he does with all the other boys on the ranch.
But it did mean the idea was out there. That I had been up at the cliff, doing erotic things with Lily, because I don’t think the sounds she made could have been mistaken for anything else.
