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“Thank God,” I whispered, chuckling softly. “I guess I should tell you that I’ve never actually done this before. So you probably need to lead here.”
“What?” Griffin stared at me, shock clear on his face.
“What?” I asked, my brows furrowing. “I’ve been a little busy.”
“Aren’t you sleeping with Kenny?”
“No!” I shoved him off of me and sat up, glaring at him. “God, he’s a kid.”
“He’s nineteen,” Griffin reminded me. “The way you care about him I guess I just assumed—”
“Well don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t assume anything about me. That kid is like a brother to me. Plus he was sixteen when I met him.” I shook my head. “Wow. You don’t actually know anything about me, do you?”
“Matt, I’m sorry.” Griffin reached for my hand, threading his fingers in mine and squeezing gently. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s just…you’ve been in the GSD for four years. How the hell can you still be a virgin?”
“I don’t see how those two things are connected,” I said coldly. “Just because the cartel is called Guns, Sex and Drugs, doesn’t mean that every single person has experienced every single one of those things.” I blew out a sigh as I stared down at our hands. “Look, I went into the academy at eighteen, then got pulled at nineteen and dumped into this mess. And I’ve spent those four years trying not to kill, fuck or snort everything that’s crossed my path. I’ve been trying to survive. That’s it.”
“God, you really have been completely alone all this time.” Griffin ran his finger over my jaw, turning my face to look at him again. “I’m sorry. Most of the guys who infiltrate buy into at least some of it. The best cover is participating.”
“Is that what you’ve done?” I asked.
“I take the money,” he admitted. “But no. I mean, I’m no saint. But I’ve managed to avoid a lot of it, too. I came in older, though. You’re a twenty-five-year-old guy with a world of options open to you that includes complete immunity thanks to your position with us. I guess I just figured you’d take advantage of it like everyone else does.”
“How much older?” I asked.
“Enough older,” he growled.
“Come on. I just admitted to being a virgin. The least you can do is tell me how old you are.” I studied his face, taking in the laugh lines that had returned around his eyes and mouth. Sitting this close I could see a few strands of silver in his hair as well.
“I’m thirty-four,” he said.
“Thank you. Was that so hard?” I teased.
“Shut up.” Griffin grinned at me. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah,” I promised him. “But the mood is officially ruined.”
“I should get going anyway,” he said, standing up and pulling to bring me to my feet as well. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“I’ll be here,” I said, walking him to the door. “See you soon?”
Griffin wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest, dropping a fast but hard kiss to my mouth.
“Indeed.” He released me and walked out, closing the door behind himself and leaving me alone again.
But I wasn’t alone. Not really. Not anymore.
Now I really did have Griffin. And he had me.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure he actually knew what to do with me.
Chapter Ten
~Matt~
“You’re in a good mood tonight,” Eddie said, smirking at me across the table. “I take it your meeting with Prince G went well.”
“It was fine,” I answered with a shrug, turning my gaze to the scale in front of me and pouring out a measure of baking soda into one side of it.
