AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, he should figure it out sooner rather than later,” she muttered in frustration.
She lifted her skirts and ambled along the trail etched into the earth from the countless wheels that had rolled over this road. Lenny fell into step beside her in the opposite wheel rut.
After a few minutes of silence, Lenny said, “Garret’s wrong, you know.”
“About the Jennings wolves following us? I figured. None of you were even tense.”
“Oh, no, they’re following us, but for some reason they are hanging back. I can hear them a mile back, at least.”
“I hate feeling like I’m failing. Again. I couldn’t be enough for my Aunt Elizabeth, and now I’ll never be enough for my own husband. No matter what I do, it isn’t enough for him.”
“I heard what Wyatt said. He does have a point, Eliza. If Garret doesn’t bed you, the marriage isn’t official, and the claim isn’t official. The Jenningses seem to have an interest in you, and that is bad news for Garret. Are you being cold to him? Has he tried to bed you?”
“No. I wanted more from him, but…well…he lets me know what a thorn I am to him. No one wants to bed a thorn.” The tears finally welled in her eyes. She didn’t want them. “I don’t feel like talking about this anymore. I’m not meaning to cut you off, Lenny. I adore you. This has all just been hard and embarrassing for me.”
Lenny walked quietly beside her until they reached the house, and then waved goodnight and headed for the hands’ cabin. If only she could sneak into the house and go to bed without having to face her unwilling husband, but no such luck existed for a woman like her.
Garret waited at the kitchen table when she came in.
Maybe ignoring him would deter him.
It didn’t.
“We need to talk.”
“Fairly sure we don’t. Good night.” She headed for her bedroom, but he stood and followed behind her. Though she glared at him, he came into the room without hesitation and sat heavily in the chair in the corner.
“What Wyatt said tonight—” he started.
“It’s true! All of it! He said the words for callous reasons, but he has a point. Even Lenny said he was right. You have strung me along. I keep thinking, once he trusts me, he’ll give in and care about me. But you won’t, will you? You’ll never care about me. Not the way you care about Anna,” she said, pulling at the laces in the back of her dress. She was tired and hurt, and her arms were burning from the cactus needles last night, and no matter what he said, she was getting ready for bed. He could ignore her indecent body, for all she cared. Her laces were stuck, and she shrieked in frustration, then rounded on him. “Do you even know how hard it is to feel so unwanted all the time? I’m plain and outspoken, that’s fair, but I’m still a person. With feelings, and wants, and those revolve around giving love and desiring it returned. That makes you think I’m just a stupid girl, but I’m not. I wasn’t built as cold as you were, Garret. I know you care nothing for me, but surely I don’t deserve to be treated thusly.”
A treacherous tear slid down her cheek, and she swiped it off with her hand. She turned her back to him, unable to let him see her raw emotions. What good would it do? He would only use them against her.
She stretched the laces out farther and slid out of her dress clumsily, leaving only her cotton shift covering her. The entire time she busied herself with putting away the dress and taking the pins from her hair, Garret was quiet in the corner of the room. If he had fallen asleep, great. She would sleep on the big leather chair in the living room.
At the light shuffling of his boots, she faced him. He sat with his head in his hands. “What do you need from me?” he asked in a muffled and exhausted voice as she washed her still-stinging arms with care at the washbasin.
“Something. Anything. You give me nothing. What am I to do with that? A man who gives nothing will break a woman. You will break me, Garret.” She placed the candle on the crude bedside table and turned down the covers, blew out the quivering flame and settled into her bed.
Garret could stay or go. She didn’t care anymore, but she was finished talking to him. Conversation always turned out to be so fruitless with that confounding man.
At the subtle sound of fabric against fabric, Eliza turned to fix a glance in Garret’s direction. Her eyes took a moment to adjust, but the moon was close to full, and its light pouring in through her small window proved to be enough. He undressed slowly. And when clad only in his trousers, he did something that shocked her to her very bones. He stood by her bed and waited.
“What do you want?”
“I’ll lay beside you until you fall asleep. Only if you want.”
She didn’t know how to respond. For a full minute, she searched for the words. She didn’t quite know what she felt right now. Confusion, mostly.
“Are you going to say something mean and leave me unable to sleep? Or will you be kind and allow me to relax?”
“I’m tired, Eliza.”
But it sounded as if he was admitting more than just being ready for his body to sleep.
“I’m tired too,” she whispered in the dark. Her eyes rimmed with moisture as she admitted the real. “I’m so tired.”
She waited a few moments more, and then pulled the covers back.
