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“Perfect timing,” Andy says as he reads the text off his phone. “Looks like some of our men found the missing off-roader. It was parked next to the freeway, so whoever was on it either hitchhiked or called a car. Also, two helmets were found alongside it.”
“So either the kidnappers are very safety conscious, or it was Emma and Matteo on there,” I state. Pride mixes with anguish. She was able to get away.
Even if Emma managed to get away from the kidnappers, she’s still at risk. Not only is she a known figure with connections to me after our engagement, but anyone who sees her with Matteo is going to be able to make the connection that he’s my child. He looks too much like me for them not to.
And then there’s the fact she still hasn’t called me.
“We’ll get her home.”
Chapter Forty-One- Emma
The motel room has one double bed with a mattress that feels like they should have thrown it out twenty years ago. The TV doesn’t work, there’s no hot water, and there’s a smell that suggests something died in the room below ours.
When I checked in under the name Adeline Gray, they didn’t check for ID. Derek must have known they wouldn’t, and that’s why he sent us here.
When we got to the edge of the property, I didn’t know where to go or who to call. Being with Enzo was supposed to be safe for Matteo, but apparently there’s nowhere safe as long as we’re associated with him. That’s why I called Derek. He managed to completely cut ties. Maybe he’ll be able to help me do the same.
The thought of leaving Enzo, of never seeing him again, makes my chest ache. I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point I stopped thinking of him as being a necessary evil for Matteo’s wellbeing and as a life partner. A friend. Lover.
I cuddle Matteo into my side, but he isn’t sleeping. I picked up a burner phone at the store. It isn’t the best, but it allows for me to play YouTube videos over the motel’s crappy wifi. My phone is another victim of circumstance. After calling Derek, he gave me a list of things I would need to do. Getting a new phone was one of the first things on the list because anyone might track my current phone. I couldn’t use my accounts or cards, not that I have them with me. Derek ordered the phone for me, and I just had to show up at the store to pick it up. Now he’s on a flight to New York to help me figure out what I’m going to do.
I don’t know how I’m ever going to pay him back for this.
Matteo’s finally drifting off. His little fist clutches my shirt. He hasn’t let go of me. The driver I called either didn’t know about child car safety or he didn’t care, because he didn’t question when I strapped Matteo into his seat without a car seat. Then again, I doubt he picks up very many women on the side of a freeway, so maybe he could tell that it was under dire circumstances.
“Mommy?” He asks, yawning, with his eyes halfway closed.
“Yes, baby?”
“I want daddy.”
I don’t know what to tell him. He hasn’t called Enzo daddy to his face yet, at least not that I’ve heard. Now Enzo’s probably never going to hear him say it. I hold back my tears until Matteo is letting out little, soft snores.
I don’t sleep. There’s no way I’d be able to close my eyes after what happened today and feel secure. So I clutch Matteo to my side and watch the door.
I get a text from Derek that he’s arrived at about five in the morning. Everything is sore, my head aches from exhaustion and my whole body feels shaky from the lack of food. This isn’t the type of motel that offers breakfast in the morning, but there is a McDonald's down the street where I can hopefully grab something for Matteo.
“Morning,” Derek says when I open the door. He shoves a cup of coffee and a brown paper bag at me. When I look inside, there are breakfast sandwiches and bagels.
The thoughtfulness of the action is enough for me to break down into tears. Derek must be expecting this because he doesn’t hesitate to pull me into him for a hug.
He holds me while I cry, and I can’t help but catalog all the ways he does it wrong. His arms are too loose, his grip doesn’t threaten to suffocate me like Enzo’s does. My body doesn’t fit with his quite right. His skin is cool to the touch. But it’s comfort, so I bask in it.
When the sobs start to reside, Derek backs away from me so that he can look into my face. “What happened?”
He keeps his voice low since Matteo has miraculously slept through my crying. So I tell him.
It’s such a loaded question with too many answers. So I start from the beginning, and he lets me. He listens as I tell him about meeting Enzo at Andy’s wedding and how I got pregnant. About how I found out and it destroyed my relationship with my father. I tell him how Enzo tricked me into coming home.
I tell him how I fell in love with Enzo.
When we get to last night, being attacked and running away and how I no longer feel safe, I feel like everything has been taken out of me. I have to lean onto him and use him as a support to keep standing.
“Were you really a ruthless killer?” I ask him, a small hiccuping voice.
He doesn’t look at me when he answers. “I was. I thought I would be able to win my father’s love and approval through violence. Then, one day, I woke up after an explosion gone wrong and realized that he wouldn’t search for my body in the rubble of the building. So I ran. Started a new life.”
Enzo cares, I think to myself. He’s going to search, and he probably won’t stop searching even if he thinks that Matteo and I are dead. He’d have to see the bodies himself to be convinced.
