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His rage flicks a switch inside me, and what was once waves of sorrow become waves of pain.
I’m so tired of being in pain.
Fuck everyone right now.
A laugh cracks in my chest as something unhinges. “You know what? Fuck you.”
Andrei’s nostrils flare and a vein in his forehead throbs. “Say that again.”
I must have a death wish, because I’m happy to oblige. “Fuck. You.” I don’t care if it pisses him off. I’m pissed off. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I clench my shaking fists. “And you know what else? I forbid you from killing my grandmother.” Another laugh, this one sounding as bitter as I feel. “There, problem solved.”
Andrei’s lip curls. “You think this is funny? You think I want to kill someone you care about?”
“Could’ve fooled me, charging in here with a loaded fucking gun like that.”
“You disappeared,” Andrei grits through clenched teeth, “and when you disappear, I get anxious. A guard is dead, Valentina, and you were gone. What was I supposed to do, sit around and pray?” He pops the bullet from the chamber of his gun and shoves the weapon against Ezra’s chest. “God hasn’t done me a lot of favors, so forgive me if I’m not a fucking pacifist.”
I didn’t know a guard was dead. We took a shortcut through the house, so I guess we could have missed it... And if it’s true that someone really is dead, Andrei’s reaction is a little more justifiable.
Taking a breath, I lower my voice as my anger cools. “If you’d trust me, maybe you wouldn’t have to worry so much.”
Andrei exhales a breath he’s been holding. “I trust you, Valentina. It’s everyone else that’s the problem.”
I have a feeling that he and my grandmother might agree with each other on that point. They might have more in common than they realize. “If you’d just talk to her?—”
“No.”
“Why not? What has she done that’s so bad, you can’t even look at her without pointing a fucking gun at her head?”
Andrei shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath, and remains silent.
I have a feeling he’s counting down from ten very slowly.
“She’s been lying to you.” He paces behind the bench across from me. “She’s been manipulating you, Valentina, if not for your entire life, then at least for the last five years. Open your eyes!” He gestures wildly towards the gap in the hedges my grandmother disappeared through. “She has a fucking guard detail! She’s keeping secrets from you, Valentina!”
All his anger does is fuel my own. I draw myself up to my full height. “I guess that’s the new favorite thing to do these days, huh? Let’s all lie to Valentina and see if she ever figures it out! I bet she won’t; she’s just a dumb, horny bitch who’ll keep silent if we fuck her hard enough. Are three cocks enough to keep her quiet?”
Andrei’s eyes flash. “That’s not what we think of you, and you know it.”
“You say you trust me, but you won’t trust me with the truth. The full truth, not only the parts you think I can handle.” I cross my arms over my chest. “C’mon, Andrei, I can handle it. If I’m going to run this Bratva with you, I need to know all its dirty secrets. Especially if they involve me.”
He stares at me for a long moment as he makes his decision. Exhaling harshly, he presses the pads of his fingertips to the back of his eyelids. “Take her inside,” he instructs Ezra. “Let’s show her how loving her grandmother has been all these years.”
Ezra doesn’t move. His eyes dance between me and his pakhan. “Are you sure?—”
“For fuck’s sake, Ezra, do as your told.” Andrei storms out of the hedge maze without a single glance in my direction, leaving me alone with my former bodyguard.
Silence stretches between us. If it weren't for the tension laying thick in the air, this would be just like old times. Me, wandering the estate, while Ezra keeps a watchful eye and ensures I stay out of trouble. Not that I got into much, back in the day.
“What crawled up his ass and died?” I scrunch my nose. Ezra doesn’t laugh, and I sigh as my attempt at levity falls flat. “C’mon, Ezra, it can’t be that bad. It’s my grandmother.”
Ezra’s eyebrows pinch together. Stress ripples across his face as he fixes a broken strap on one gun and crosses both weapons over his shoulders. “I have vowed to protect you from harm, lisichka. This will . . . bring pain. I do not wish for it.”
My heart melts at his sweet confession. “I’ll be okay. I can handle a little pain.”
I’m not sure what to expect, and that makes me nervous, but I won’t break. I’m not made of porcelain. “You don’t have to keep protecting me, Ezra. You’re not my bodyguard anymore.”
He shakes his head. “I am always bodyguard, lisichka. I am always yours.”
