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A crucifix hangs overhead. The effigy of Christ should be a reminder of my many, many sins.
But right now, I feel anything but judged.
This might be the holiest fucking thing that I’ve ever done.
Light streaks through stained glass and paints colors on her pale face, making her skin glow. I’m not sure that I actually believe in angels and miracles on earth, but in this moment, I feel something holy.
I love you.
The words shimmer in the air between us, even though neither of us say them.
Her breathing comes fast, panting and hot against the side of my neck. My vision has gone blurry, the world melting away into a blur of shadows and light.
I don’t move for a few minutes after we’re done. Neither of us seeming to have any desire to separate.
When she finally speaks, Evangeline’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Promise me that you’ll come back.”
I brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Of course, I will.”
She acts like I’m going off to battle instead of just taking a few days to visit an old classmate. We don’t have any reason to worry.
But I feel it too, the nervous tension kicking up my belly that has all my senses on high alert.
I give her reassurances, try to soothe away the fear that I see in her eyes. It isn’t difficult to sound sure of myself when I tell her that I’ll be back before she even has a chance to miss me.
I’m telling the truth, but the words taste like a lie.
Evangeline doesn’t need to know that I’m just as worried as she is.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I almost tell Drake that I don’t want him to leave if he won’t take me with him.
It’s crazy to feel this afraid. A good portion of the student body has returned to campus. If the other Havoc Boys, particularly Brady, wanted to get rid of me without witnesses, then they missed their window of opportunity.
But I can’t help feeling like something terrible is about to happen.
When I get back to the room, Anya is in the kitchen opening and closing the cupboards.
“We are completely out of food,” she announces.
I close the door behind me, double-checking that it’s locked. “That’s my fault. I didn’t have a chance to do a grocery run over break.”
The face that I don’t have any money made restocking the fridge difficult, but she doesn’t need to know that.
“The dining hall is open. You want to go with me to brunch?”
“No, thanks.” Between the distasteful, but ultimately helpful, trip to the strip club and meeting Drake at the chapel, it’s been almost twenty-four hours since I got any sleep. “I’m not hungry.”
“You sure?” she presses, frowning at my emphatic nod. Her gaze focuses a little too intently on my face. “You’re weren’t here when I got back last night Is everything okay?”
I’m so tired that the room is starting to spin. “Definitely.”
“I guess you must have been up all night messing around with Havoc House crap.”
“That’s definitely one way of putting it.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and leans against the counter. “I really want to ask how you ended up a pledge, but I’m not sure that I want to know.”
