AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It is so much more than just another party. It’s like the party. The one that everyone remembers for the rest of their lives.” Serena answers. She drains her champagne flute and gestures to a waiting server for another one. “Imagine a Havoc party, but so much bigger than anything you’ve ever seen. Unless they hide out in their dorm rooms, everyone at St. Bart’s becomes part of it. It should be more exclusive this year since it’s happening at Club Havoc.”
“Everyone will still be there,” Maisie says. “Nobody hides from the Bacchanal.”
Olivia laughs and most of the girls join her, even though no one told a joke. “So it’s a party, then. Got it.”
Anya puts her fork down, and it clatters a little too loudly on the porcelain of her plate. “That’s like comparing the presidential inauguration to a press conference in the Rose Garden. Yes, Havoc House throws parties all the time, but this is an Event. Capital E. The drinks don’t stop flowing. The music doesn’t stop until well after dawn. Literally anything can happen.”
A glint of teeth makes Olivia’s smile look more like a snarl. “Sounds dangerous.”
Serena waves that concern away with a flick of her hand. “It can be if you’re not careful. But we’re going to stick together like we always do. Once for all and all for one, you know how it goes. As long as we don’t get separated, we’ll be fine. Everybody knows you can’t let yourself be caught alone during the Bacchanal.”
Even though I haven’t said a word, the attention of everyone at the table turns in my direction. I don’t say a word as they pretend not to stare at me. My gaze meets Olivia’s, but I don’t see the dark amusement that I expect. For once, it’s impossible for me to read the expression in her eyes.
“Some girls can’t help but get what they’re asking for,” she says finally, her voice devoid of emotion.
The rest of the girls make sounds of agreement. I wouldn’t expect anything less. Anna squeezes my knee under the table, but she doesn’t say anything. Not that I blame her, defending me to this crowd won’t help and might just cost her what little social status she has left.
Chivalry is dead, and girls like these helped kill it.
I force myself not to pay attention as they discuss the elephant at the table, namely me. Olivia doesn’t join in, though she doesn’t put a stop to it either. She might have herself convinced that I can take the blame for both of our mistakes. But she’s letting them drag her through the muck just as much as me, even if they don’t realize it.
Serena glares at the server who finally brings her another mimosa, practically snatching it off the tray held out in front of her. “Stupidity is a learned behavior.”
“But some people are just born that way,” Maisie disagrees. “You can’t help people who refuse to be helped.”
“I can’t imagine showing my face again if everyone saw me…”
“I’m loving this show of support, #feminism and all that,” I interrupt. I’m proud of myself when my voice doesn’t shake. “But all the empowerment is making my head spin. The horse is a rotten corpse. Feel free to beat another one.”
“You know what,” Maisie turns to face me, addressing me directly for the first time since I sat down, “I’ve been telling people I don’t, but I remember you from last year.”
Olivia’s eyes flash from across the table, but she stays silent. I force myself to look away from her and face Maisie.
“Okay.”
“When you came back, I wanted to give you a chance. I really did. What happened to you was pretty messed up.”
I take a deep breath and set my fork down, refusing to look at my sister. “I hear a but coming.”
“But you make it impossible to feel sorry for you. Girls like you just make it harder for the rest of us.” She pushes her plate away and leans over the table, putting her face closer to mine as if she wants to make sure I hear every single word.
My breakfast is heavier than solid lead in my stomach. I don’t want to hear whatever Maisie plans to say next. Olivia doesn’t need to hear it either. But it’s too late to stop this. Maisie is clearly going to say whatever she thinks needs to be said.
But I still let myself ask the question. “How is that exactly?”
“I pretended I didn’t remember you because I thought I was doing you a favor, but I definitely remember how you used to act. I saw you.” Her voice is an accusation, sharp as a knife blade and meant to cut just as deeply. “You practically threw yourself at those guys. Yeah, every girl might want to catch a Havoc Boy, but you went way further than any of us ever would. You had no shame. It wasn’t a surprise when I heard what happened to you. Anyone with a half a brain could see it coming from a mile away. That’s just what happens when you let them turn you into a dirty little secret.”
Anya raps her knuckles on the table, like a judge calling the courtroom back to order. “That’s enough. Let’s talk about something else. Do we all already have outfits for tonight or is someone planning a shopping trip?”
But Maisie is far from done. The look she gives me isn’t just full of the disdain that has been there from the beginning. Instead, her expression is one of a disgust so profound that it could only be born of the most extreme form of disappointment.
“You run around with all of your mess hanging out, basically daring guys to take advantage. If you weren’t always showing up in places that you shouldn’t be, maybe so many bad things wouldn’t happen to you.” Maisie’s face has turned a bright shade of red. She’ll suffocate if she doesn’t take a breath soon. “We’re supposed to see you as some victim, but what kind of victim goes crawling back to her abusers with her mouth and legs wide open. Whatever the Havoc Boys did to you last year didn’t stop you from climbing into bed with them.”
“Or worming your way into becoming a pledge.” The jealousy in Serena’s voice is obvious, but I doubt it’s something she would ever admit to herself, much less to any of us. “We’re so supposed to feel so sorry about what happened to you, but you went crawling right back to the guys who supposedly hurt you so badly. It’s pathetic.”
I refuse to look at Olivia, even though I’m dying to see her reaction to this. Is she sorry she came here? Does she hate me for making a bad situation even worse?
Maybe her reaction shouldn’t be my problem anymore.
