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Before I can compose a response, he sinks his bandaged hands inside his sweatpants and shoves them down his legs.
His mammoth cock springs free—I mean, holy fucking shit, he’s huge—and the door opens behind me.
“Had I known it was this kind of party,” Wolf says, strolling in, “I would’ve worn my best suit.” He pauses beside me and bends to rasp in my ear, “My birthday suit.”
“Of course.”
He leans back. “Are you blushing?”
“She’s blushing.” Kody folds an arm behind his head, completely unabashed with his nudity.
“You guys will be the death of me.” I whip the blanket over Kody’s groin and turn my attention to his thigh.
Beneath the bandage, I find a healthy wound. My stitch pattern isn’t perfect. It will leave a helluva scar, but it’s not feverish or festering.
That can change over the week, but right now, I’m satisfied.
“All good.” I put his sweatpants back in place with his help and step back.
“Go to the bathroom.” Kody looks at Wolf. “She doesn’t leave your sight.”
“Got it.” With a hand on my lower back, he guides me out and down the hall.
At the bathroom, I pause. “You can wait here while I—”
“Not a chance, mon petit chou chou.” He follows me in, shuts the door, and leans against it with his arms crossed.
The pressure in my bladder doesn’t give a fuck about modesty. Not that I have any left after the horror Wolf and I shared that night.
As I sit and do my business with wondrous relief, I start talking to drown out the sound of my peeing. “I owe you an apology.”
He shakes his head, his gaze on the floor.
“After I bargained with Denver, I couldn’t look at you.” I curl into myself on the toilet. “I couldn’t face your disappointment, couldn’t listen to the arguments I knew you would give. But more than that, I didn’t want you to blame yourself for my decisions. I would rather you hate me than try to interfere with my actions. Right or wrong, I don’t regret it. You’ve endured enough. I had to—”
“Stop right there.” He drags a hand through his hair and straightens. “Just…stop.”
With a nod, I finish, flush, and wash my hands in silence. Then I brush my teeth and wait for him to continue.
He steps in behind me and rests his chin on my shoulder, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “I could never hate you.” He kisses my neck. “You will never disappoint me.” He wraps his arms around my middle and touches his cheek to mine. “Just don’t shut me out again. I need you.”
“I need you, too.”
With those honest words, I understand this complex man a little more.
Parts of us need to be fed in different ways, and for Wolf and me, we need attention. The kind of undying attention that can only be given by a mother. Or an attentive lover. Healthy or not, it’s nourishment for our souls.
I wasn’t lying when I said my red flag is loving people. I can’t be alone, and as it turns out, neither can Wolf.
“I get it.” Turning in his embrace, I stare into arctic blue eyes, the depths shattered from years of abuse and neglect. “I’m sorry. I won’t shut you out again.”
“Promise?” Bringing our foreheads together, he sighs against my lips.
“Promise.”
His breath on my mouth is an elixir, an intoxicating taste of closeness, and a cure for loneliness. But I want more than a kiss. I want aggressive, bruising, savage sex, and I want it from more than just one man.
I’m not whole.
I’m not fixable.
Wolf deserves better than that.
“What are you thinking?” He ducks his head to peer into my eyes.
“I can’t be monogamous.” I frame his stunning, ink-free face in my hands. “I can’t love in that way again. This place changed me. The baby, Monty’s betrayal, all of it took pieces from me, and what remains is a woman I don’t recognize. You deserve so much more.”
“How about you let me decide what I deserve?”
“I won’t tear the three of you apart.”
“Are you attracted to us?”
“Yes.”
“You want to have sex with all three of us?”
“I…uh…” Shaking my head, I try again. “Listen, there are certain values ingrained in me since childhood.” I look away, avoiding his piercing gaze. “Those values shudder at my thoughts.”
“So that’s a yes.” He loosens a slow breath. “I bet those values shuddered when you bargained with the devil.”
“That’s different. What I did was survival.”
“And this isn’t?” He curls a finger under my chin, lifting my face. “Every second in Hoss is about survival. We steal moments of pleasure where we can. Do I want to share you with those mouth-breathers? Fuck, no. But I will. I will take whatever you give me as long as you don’t shut me out.”
“You’re…” I shake my head, taking him in. “You’re a rare and special breed, Wolfson. When we leave this place, a very selfish, insecure part of me will be terrified to share you with the world, knowing it will snatch you away.”
